


Gently Break Me

by darlingmydarling



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 18 year old, Eventual Smut, Explicit for final chapter, F/M, POV First Person, Teacher-Student Relationship, over-age, trying not to be too angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 11:28:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24849049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingmydarling/pseuds/darlingmydarling
Summary: A long-ish fic with plot and eventual smut. This is an OC because I have given her a name, but it's written in second-person POV so you can switch your name in if you want :) You're a final-year student at Hogwarts in Gryffindor, the main things on your mind are finishing exams and going on to become a quidditch coach, if you can. It's only when you catch your potions master after hours that you begin to think that you realise he might be open to romance, despite his thorny exterior...
Relationships: Severus Snape/Original Female Character(s), Severus Snape/Reader
Comments: 62
Kudos: 260





	1. He goes easy on you...

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to use the name Violet for this piece as it's my favourite name but it'll be written in second-person ('you'), so if you want to replace the name with your own, please do! God knows I'm writing this to satisfy something that the canon never will...  
> There will be a few bits from Snape's perspective, just to deepen the story, but mainly Violet, or Y/N.  
> My first Harry Potter fic, so bear with me please - hope you enjoy :)

Tick.....tick.....tick.....

The day was dragging on. A bad start to the morning came in the form of a stray cat, scratching up your bed, the duvet, and pretty much everything on it...including your potions homework. It was due in today and there was no chance of re-doing it before class, so you'd had a headache for the whole day, a nervous, underlying panic about your inevitable punishment. Professor Snape may be great, but he wasn't exactly, _nice_ , so you figured he would devise something both creative and exhaustingly dull to reprimand you.

As you watch Professor Trelawny run around her classroom, eyes wide, speaking of the deep hunger and desire rooted in human nature that would eventually destroy us all, you thought she should keep in mind that this was the class before lunch and that she was probably just getting hangry. After what felt like an eternity, she finally dismissed you and the mad dash to the great hall began. You held back a moment, not worried about food, but about the fact that Potions came after it. Your friend Ada tapped you on the shoulder and asked if you wanted to just get some tea instead. You nodded, and packed away your things, fingers lingering on the torn-up scraps that now constituted your homework, not sure why you'd bothered to bring them, Snape would probably be more insulted if you tried to present them to him.

After making the trek from the Divination classrooms down into the Gryffindor Common Room, you were all too happy to flop down in one the worn leather chairs, moulded softly through years of use, and drink a mug of tea, piping hot and full of sugar. Ada looked at you, frowning slightly beneath her dark brows.

"What's wrong?" She asked. "Your spark is a little dull today Vi."

You smiled softly. Ada had a flair for the dramatic, and complimented you daily on the 'spark', or 'glint', or 'shine' in your eyes. You didn't mind though, in fact, it was probably one of your favourite things about her - she valued people's energies, their _souls_ , above anything else. It was comforting to know that you were considered bright, your father had always said ' _Violet... I should have named you Sunflower instead, you always seem to find the light in the world.'_

"I'm okay, just that my Potions homework got torn to shreds by some first-year's feral cat, so the next hour isn't going to be too fun for me."

"Ahh, Snape. Now I get the gloomy look. Good luck." She smirked a little on the last words, knowing full-well that luck was no match for the Professor.

You drank the rest of your tea and then went upstairs, Ada in tow, to check on your broomstick. It was new for this school year, a present from your father, as both a reward for doing so well and to show support after you had told him that your dream was to become a world-class quidditch coach; to help students old and new find joy and confidence in a new sport. It was beautiful, dark wood, almost black, and sleek as still water, it was your new baby, and you had taken good care of it. A lot of people were confused when you said you wanted to coach. Your grades were excellent and you worked hard at your studies, hard enough to be an auror or an academic, but as much as you valued your education, nothing brought you the unadulterated _joy_ that flying did. Not to mention to the community that comes with it, the bonds you make in a quidditch team are as strong as they come, and you loved nothing more than feeling a part of something bigger than yourself.

Finally, you had to set down your kit and broom and face the class, and man, that you'd been dreading.

* * *

"Miss Newman."

A lump formed in your throat. You had managed to get through the majority of the class with no problems, seeing as you knew the content and had revised hard, even though there was no evidence to prove it anymore. But the class had come to an end, and as everyone was handing in their homework to the desk at front of the classroom, you were still sat in your chair, packing away very slowly, trying to pretend that there was nothing amiss. But, of course, nothing could fool him.

"Yes, sir?" You gave your brightest smile, and looked up at the man stood in front of you. He was glowering through his long black hair, arms folded expectantly. He wasn't one to be charmed by smiles and laughs but you had to stay on-brand, _sunflower_. So, you beamed, hoping to soften him a little.

It didn't work.

"Where is your offering on the subject of ethics of using veritaserum in court trials?" He raised his eyebrows. "I would have thought you would enjoy this one, you seem to have no trouble chattering away. I don't think I would need veritaserum to divulge your secrets."

"I'm sorry sir, but if I tell you the truth, I'm sure you'd think I was lying. You see, there is this boy in the first year, Ben, and he has this cat ,you see, Tommy, and well, what happened was that Tommy got a bit nervous in the boys' dorm I think. You see, they were setting off fireworks, and then Tommy ran out. Wait, I shouldn't have said that. Hang on, what happened to my work? Sorry, sir, let me try again... So, Tommy got into my room, you see, and then I think he got panicked again and managed to scratch the bed, and then-"

" _MISS Newman!"_ Your eyes widened as you realised you had been rambling on, not really forming a complete sentence, in front of a teacher that abhorred time-wasting more than any other. You realised that you were nervous, but you couldn't quite place why. He spoke again, "Were you approaching a point?"

"Yes sir. Sorry, sir. Basically, the cat ruined my work."

"Well Miss Newman, I don't think you're lying. I don't actually think anyone could invent something so stupid." He said in a drawly, low voice, the one usually reserved for the idiots in class. It hurt a little to hear that voice being used on you, seeing as Potions was actually one of your best classes, but you took it; there was nothing you could do about it anyway.

"I will not blame you for the actions of first years, and first-year Gryffindors especially, however, I still want to read your thoughts on the matter. So you have until this evening to recreate the essay, and hand it in to me. Midnight at the latest."

You sighed with relief. This was definitely the lighter end of the punishment scale for Snape, and you were a slightly pleased that he seemed so eager to read your work, as if he respected your opinion. You left the classroom hastily, with a final "Thank you sir, sorry sir." for good measure, and ran to your next class, not even worried about a late penalty anymore.

* * *

Ada was gobsmacked when you told her how lightly you had gotten off for missing homework. "I wish he treated me like that," she said with slight eye-roll, "all I ever get is house points taken away and scoldings that my Aunt Mabel would be proud of."

"Haha, sorry Ad, I'm finding it hard to feel sorry for you when you literally leave your Potions work to the hour before it's due." You said with a laugh. Ada was on the Gryffindor quidditch team with you - seeker - she was sharp and fast, nothing got past her, but she wasn't really interested in her school work. Although it probably wouldn't affect her, she was so friendly, so genuine, that you didn't think she'd have any trouble with life after graduation.

"Okay, you've got me there," she smirked "but you've got to admit, he does go a little easy on you."

"What are you on about?"

"Well c'mon, you know that if anyone else had gone to Snape with some cock-and-bull story about a cat, and fireworks, and told it as badly as you did, he would completely tear them down. He always lets you off lightly."

"Don't be stupid Ad, it's probably just because I'm usually a good student. He's giving me the benefit of the doubt." You replied, curious about her implication despite yourself.

"Yeah sure... I'm sure you'd say the same if I told you....... he _smiled_ at you once." She said the last five words as if it were a horror movie, voice full of shock and horror.

You burst out laughing at her impression, as well what she was saying. "Oh come off it, he never smiles. And anyway, why would he smile at me? I'm a Gryffindor, not to mention, a Gryffindor who is clumsy, chats a lot, and is totally opposite to him in every way."

"Well, they do say opposites attract.." Ada winked suggestively.

"Ada Watson!" You swatted her on the arm disapprovingly. "Not only is he a teacher, and I am a student, but that is also the most unlikely thing I have ever heard in my life!"

"I don't see why it's so unlikely. He's still a man. You're hot Vi, even if you don't accept it. I'd kill for your figure, and your hair, and lips... Not to mention, your tits." She chuckled on the last one, knowing how I'd react.

"Ad!!" You laughed again. She was right though, you'd never seen yourself as particularly beautiful. Not that there was anything particularly wrong with you, just that you were, well, fine. You were about 5ft 6, hourglass figure but a bit of chubb that you though ruined it, and hair that was frustratingly in between blonde and brunette. But you had to admit, you didn't mind your boobs, they were pretty good - despite the backache.

"Anyway Vi, I've got to go, I have a date with Alex. Enjoy your evening rendezvous with Sexy Severus!" She grinned and ran off before you could chastise her.

You let her go and turned your attention to the essay that you were trying to remember from before, finding that the words came back to you fairly easily once you'd written down the main points. Sighing thankfully, you settled in for an evening of writing, determined to give the Potions master something of worth after coming across like such a bimbo earlier.


	2. Would you like some tea?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The homework hand-in goes... interestingly. Fluff with a bit of depth to it. Teasing touch, but good things come to those who wait!

_Finally finished. Phew, 11 pm. An hour left._

You set your quill down on the table in front of you and massaged your wrists, working your fingers through the knots that formed after hours of writing. There was no one else around really, a few night owls perusing gossip magazines and sleepily reading books, but apart from that, you were alone in the common room. _Thank Merlin for that,_ you thought. You could feel the bags forming under your eyes and you were sure your hair was a mess from all of the frustration that this essay had given you. Running up to your dorm room, you thought about how peaceful Gryffindor could be. For a house that was famous for its bets, dares, and all-round, honour-based madness, the hours that students took for themselves were as still as an undisturbed forest, everyone content to keep their thoughts to themselves for a while.

You looked in the mirror and were proved right. You looked a wreck. Not that it should matter going to hand in a piece of work to a professor, but still, you always liked to make a good impression. And Ada's words from earlier hadn't quite managed to leave your head all evening, though you tried to push them out. You grab a hairbrush and spent a few minutes working out the tangles and kinks, it was quite therapeutic actually, making yourself look human again. Hogwart's wasn't exactly a fashion show, especially as Captain of the Quidditch team, but you loved makeup and wore it most days. It was impressive how a little highlight or a slick of eyeliner could make you feel more confident, and you were sure that's what you needed after the afternoon's horrific performance in front of Snape.

You heard a sound from behind you, and turned to see Ada sat up straight in her bed, bedraggled but still sporting a smirk.

"And who are we getting all dressed up for tonight?" She said in a sing-song voice, eyelashes fluttering dramatically.

"Shut up Ad, you know I like to wear it for me." You replied.

"Yeah, but you've done a cat-eye. Cat-eyes are for looking sexy... you know what it does to people." She laughed. 

She was right though, you normally went for brown kohl, smudged along your waterline, but tonight, almost subconsciously, you had used a liquid, black as the night sky, and flicked it out at the ends, making your eyes deeper, narrower and... well, sexier.

"I... I didn't actually realise I'd done that." You manage to stutter out, wishing you had a comeback to shut her up instead.

"Well, as long as you don't stay out too late, young lady." Ada condescended. "I'm going back to sleep. See you in the morning, Violet."

After your friend was deep in sleep again, aka, snoring like Hagrid, you thought it was probably safe enough to leave.

* * *

The long walk to Snape's chambers was freezing, and you hadn't thought to bring a cloak, so your skin prickled, hairs standing up slightly, trying to ward off the cold. The corridors looked bleak at night, with no candlelight to warm the deep corners and crevices that now appeared slightly threatening, despite you having seen them a thousand times before. You hurried along, not wanting to spend more time out of bed than you had to, eventually turning the corner to your Potion master's quarters.

It smelled like him, you realised. Or maybe, he smelled like it? The air was thick with ingredient scents; musky wormwood, fresh, salty dittany, sickly-sweet anjelica. The combination was slightly overwhelming, but also strangely intoxicating - you wanted more even though it made you a little hazy. His door was black, but not shiny, the kind of black that an old tree trunk was, aged and worn but dark, and flecked with bits of gold and green that you imagined must have come from the cocktail of ingredient particles in the air. Steeling yourself a little, you knocked on the wood, stinging a little as your skin was still cold and the shock ran through your bones.

No answer.

You waited a few beats and knocked again, a little louder this time. You shuffled from foot to foot, still feeling the icy breeze from outside the castle.

Still nothing.

Then, the door creaked open. Slowly, but surely. _Curious,_ you thought. _Maybe he used his wand to open it. I better go in, just in case._

You crept through, treading as lightly as possible, looking for any sign of Snape. Nothing. However, you were soon rooted to the spot, as you took in the room around you, your jaw opened slightly.

It was beautiful. The main room was large, with a huge desk in the far-right corner, stacked high with old books, glass bottles and jars containing all manner of ingredients, covered in a thin layer of dust, except for the few at the front, clearly the ones your professor had used recently. There was a fire on the left-hand side of the room, with two chairs angled towards it. The fire was glowing a deep, blood red, not orange, casting a dim light over everything in the room. The chairs were twice the size of any normal ones, high-backed leather armchairs, with green and black tartan throws hanging from them. Your skin reacted to the warmth, and you felt yourself drawn to the fire, the temptation of the glow growing as you shut the door behind you to keep out the wind. One of the chairs looked brand new, no scuffs or stains, but the other was well-worn, the leather faded from black to grey, and a dip in the centre showing the years of use that it had endured. It made you a little sad. Clearly Professor Snape sat alone most nights, no partner or friend to join him, and wear down the furniture with their weight. There was another table, on the left, closer to the door, that held a small tea set and various types of chocolate. You smiled at that. _Severus Snape, a fan of sugary treats._

"Professor?" You tried again, a little quieter this time. Being in his private rooms made you nervous, and not just because of the various pickled amphibians lying around in jars.

Suddenly, there was a clatter from behind a door on your right, which, you assumed, led to his bedroom and personal bathroom.

"Fuck... Fuck." You heard a voice angrily sigh. Not just any voice, but his voice. Distinct, low and gravelly.

 _Oh shit._ You thought. _Should I make a run for it? Or try and hide behind a curtain?_ _Oh yeah, brilliant Violet, feet sticking out like something from Fawlty Towers, come on._

Before you had the chance to make a decision, the door swung open and in walked your professor. He was still wearing his black trousers, but the trademark cape and coat were gone, leaving just a tight, dark grey shirt, that was unbuttoned and damp with water, making it cling slightly to his chest. His hair hung around his jaw, one side tucked behind his ear to keep it out of his eyes. You soon realised why. He was holding an open-blade razor, and there was a small cut on his cheek, the blood, thinned out with water, ran down the blade and through his fingers. You stood frozen, unable to move. You were confused, there was the instant terror of what would inevitably happen next, and the fact that your stomach had flipped slightly when you ran your eyes down his body. You waited, not knowing how to speak.

He finally looked up from his hand. His eyes widened, and he roared,

"OUT!!! NOW!!!"

You needed no more encouragement and fled the room as fast as you could, brushing slightly against you professor's side as you exited, then slammed the door shut and sank to the ground. What had you done? He would be furious now. Not only did you enter his private chambers without permission, but you had managed to catch him unawares, vulnerable, and less-than-fully clothed. 

_Oh god, oh god, oh god._ You sat on the floor breathing heavily, shaking your head. _There's no way, no._ But you couldn't conceal it, your heart was beating faster than a Snitch's wings, your fingertips tingled, and your stomach was still in knots, turning over and over. You couldn't deny, seeing him like that, so human, and exposed, it made you feel something.

There was no time to dwell on what that was, however, as the door behind you opened and you heard his voice again,

"Violet Newman. Here. Now" Said Snape, as he gestured for you to follow him through the doorway and back into the warm room. His cheek was still bleeding slightly, though the blade was gone and his hands were clean and dry. He was still wearing the trousers, but the wet, grey shirt had been replaced by a black, loose-fitting jumper.

You got up and followed him meekly, trying to avoid looking at him. When you were both inside, he shut the door behind you, the locks clicking with a heavy thud. 

"Now, may I be so bold to ask what you were doing in my personal quarters at night, without permission?" Snape asked, his voice low and cutting.

"I'm so sorry professor, I came to hand in the work that I missed earlier, and after I knocked, the door swung open so I came in."

"I see. And yet, despite finding the room empty, you remained?" He arched an eyebrow.

"Yes sir. I'm sorry but I was so cold, and your fire was a bit too inviting. And then I heard you and panicked, and then... well, you know." You replied, trying to sound tender, rather than sarcastic.

He ran his eyes across you, which sent a small shiver down your spine, and his expression softened when he noticed the goose pimples on your arms and the redness of your cheeks. You definitely weren't lying about the cold. 

"Well, give it to me then." He said bluntly.

"What?" You said dumbly, your mind suddenly unable to concentrate on anything.

"The work, girl, the work. The reason you were intruding in the first damned place." He answered, sounding more frustrated by the second.

 _I must look ridiculous,_ you thought. You placed the essay in his hand and he perused for a moment before setting it down on the big desk in the corner, amongst the dust and scraps of notes. He looked back at you and then sighed loudly. You could hear the pity in his voice,

"Do you want some tea, Miss Newman?" He asked.

You were a little taken aback by the offer, Snape being notoriously private, never inviting students or staff to sit with him alone. But you couldn't exactly say no, and the idea of warm tea by a fire was very appealing. "Thank you, yes please." You replied, taking the time to give him a small smile.

The professor moved over to where you had seen his tea set before, and began grinding down a few leaves and rosebuds, before placing them in a strainer and pouring boiled water over them carefully. You almost chuckled. It was interesting to see that he did it all by hand, rather than enchanting the set to do it for him.

"Professor," you opened, "can I ask, _why_ you are making it yourself? Rather than using magic?"

"Because, Miss Newman, I find it calming. The routine, the recipe, being able to _create_ something, is one of the most rewarding experiences a person can have. It's why I have such an affinity for potions, I like to brew something myself, creating something new from existing ingredients."

His answer was surprisingly human, and a softer side of your teacher began to shine through a little. You dared to think that you were special, one of only a few who would ever see it. Despite yourself, and the look that you knew Ada would give, you found yourself pleased that he cared enough to do this for you, to put in the effort to make you a drink that would keep you warm.

Snape poured the tea into two green and silver mugs, Slytherin house merchandise from many years ago, and handed you one. You pretended not to notice the way that his hands held yours for a split second as the cup passed from him to you. He gestured for you to sit in the chair, the un-worn one, and followed you to the fire, settling down in his own place, fitting comfortably into the creases of the leather. He touched his hand to his cheek again and tutted, blood coming away on his finger.

"Um, I have a plaster, sir, if you need one." You ventured, hoping that he wouldn't think of it as crossing the line. You always carried plasters, bandages, a little healing cream. Quidditch was a rough sport, and it was handy to have minor medical supplies with you at all times, not to mention the small, non-magical ailments that come from walking across a campus the size of a village every day - blisters, scrapes, even bug bites, you were prepared for everything. 

Snape's eyes narrowed slightly, seeming surprised that you cared about him, especially over something as small as a cut. But he relaxed and replied. "Thank you. Yes, that would be helpful. I appear to have run out."

You rummaged in your pocket and found a small one, around a half-inch long, and presented it to him. He took it without looking at you and attempted to peel the plaster from its sticky-back protection, but his fingers fumbled, giving him no success. You wondered if he was nervous too, or whether he just had cut his nails recently...

"Do you need someone with longer nails?" You attempted a quiet laugh as he failed again to open the packet.

"Mmph." He replied. It was a yes, though he'd never admit to needing the help - especially from an 18-year-old Gryffindor student. 

It was enough for you and you set down your tea, and slowly moved yourself closer to his chair, kneeling down in front of him. You took the plaster from his hands, shaking slightly at your closeness. You could actually feel his warmth from here. It was funny, you'd always assumed Snape was cold, inside and out, but he was actually radiating heat, and you could smell the combination of herbs and saltwater coming from his clothes and skin. You could feel him staring at you, his eyes fixed on your face, so you kept looking down at the plaster in your hands, hooking a nail under the sticky layer and separating the cloth from it slowly.

When you dared, you took out the small circle of fabric, and looked back up at him. Now he was looking directly into your eyes, and you found yourself admiring his. Obsidian black, with a glint that Ada would be proud of. You reached up, and he flinched a little, clearly not used to the contact, but then relaxed slightly as you smiled, and softly pressed the plaster onto his skin, fingers lingering on his face, taking in the roughness of it. Your breath was stuck in your throat. 

_What is happening?_ You thought, as you slowly moved your hand away from his face. Then, he leaned towards you, placing his own, large hand against your cheek, slightly cupping chin. You could feel your heart beat right at the front of your chest, threatening to burst out. You panicked, and drew away from him, and ran out of the room, not saying a word.

Your head was swimming as you ran back to your dormitory, and climbed into pyjamas and leaped into bed, not bothering to take your makeup off, you were too panicked, wanting to just hide under the covers until the feelings went away...


	3. Shrinking Violet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cheeky little Snape POVs, as well as our girl. Smut will be coming at some point, but gotta build up that tension first! ;) There are a few more characters in this chapter, enjoy!

_Shit._

_Why did I do that? What's wrong with me?_

_Are you really that desperate Severus? That you would take it out on some innocent girl like that? Are you so starved of love that you fall at the first woman who touches you so gently?_

Snape sat in his armchair, head in his hands, groaning. He sighed, thinking about how stupid he was. At first, he was horrified to find a student in his room, not to mention the one student who had turned his head before. But she had been so kind, so clumsy, so completely uncaring of who he was, that he couldn't help but look at her differently, and allow himself to feel something for once. He wouldn't make that mistake again. 

_Look where it gets you, Severus. You can only hope that the poor girl wasn't traumatised and isn't running straight to Minerva right now._

_Shit, what if she tells everyone? You've risked your job, your reputation, everything that you have worked to build up - and for what? Some girl with soft hair and a smile like sunshine in wintertime..._

He couldn't ignore the increased heartbeat when he thought of that smile. Of the warmth that he had felt when she showed him kindness and genuine interest in him, rather than writing him off like everyone else couldn't help but do. He got up and went to the bathroom, and splashed his face with cold water, wincing as he touched the plaster stuck to his cheek. He ripped it off his face. It felt wrong now, physical evidence of his transgressions.

_You don't deserve that, Severus. You don't deserve her. Remember what happened last time you loved someone._

The thoughts ran through his head in a long stream, like a thick ball of twine that you can never find the end of. _Lily,_ he thought. _Remember what happened._

_But Violet is nothing like her. That's why it feels so good. She is clever, yes, and beautiful, but they are different as night and day. Maybe this time, she will see you._

Snape tried not to go there but found that his mind had other ideas, constantly circling back to the romantic failure that so often defined him. He decided to take a sleeping draught that was usually reserved for migraines, and attempted to dream away what had happened that night.

* * *

"Mooooorning!" 

"Ada, please. Not today, I don't know if I can handle it today."

"What? What's wrong? Did something happen last night?" 

You looked at Ada, wide-eyed and ready to help you with any problem you may have. _Well, she's my closest friend. She wouldn't tell anyone. And I really need to run this through with someone,_ you thought.

"Yes, it did actually," you sighed, "but we need to go somewhere private before I can tell you."

With a solemn nod, your friend followed you out of the dorms, down several staircases, across the grounds and towards the quidditch pitch. It had become your favourite place for private conversations in third year, when you had discovered a dug-out underneath one of the Ravenclaw stands. No one could see or hear you, even if there was a match on. Though at this time in the morning, the green was deserted, just you, and the birds flying overhead. You ducked your head under the blue and bronze fabric and climbed down a short, splintered ladder and waited for Ada to do the same, thinking about exactly what you were going to tell her.

"So," you breathed heavily, "there's a lot. And it's serious, no joking around okay?"

Ada's usual smirk was replaced with a look of seriousness, "Course," she replied "you look a bit shaken. And nothing goes past this tent, you know that, you can tell me anything."

"Okay. So after you went to sleep last night, I headed over to Snape's chambers to give him the work I missed, only he didn't answer the door, which I thought was odd, but then it swung open. I assumed he had used his wand, and so I just, went in, assuming that he would be stood there waiting for me."

"Mm-hm, sounds like him."

"Yeah, well, the room was completely empty. It's beautiful, by the way, I assumed it would be vile, but it's genuinely lovely. Anyway that's not the point, so I stood there, a little mesmerised, and then I heard someone swear through the door. The door... to his bathroom."

"Shiiiiit."

"Exactly, only, me being me, I couldn't even decide what to do and just stood there like a moron. And of course, Snape bursts through, almost shirtless, dripping wet, and holding a razor-"

"Shiiiiit!"

"It gets worse Ad. He saw me, and I ran out as fast as I could, and slumped myself on the ground thinking what an idiot I am, when he opens the door again and asks me what on earth I was doing. So I tried to tell him the truth, and if I'm honest, I think he felt bad for me because he offered me tea."

"I'm sorry, what? You didn't get detention? Or points from Gryffindor?"

"No, that's what was so strange. He was actually really nice. He made me tea by hand, and let me warm up by his fire, and even talked to me a little. But then- oh god Ad."

"Come on, it's only me."

"He'd cut his cheek, hence the swearing. And it wouldn't stop bleeding, so I offered him a plaster-"

"You and your ruddy medical supplies." Ada almost laughed.

"And well, I have no idea why, but I took it out, and then, well, I, um, I put it on him." You say these last words whilst looking at the grounds, digging your nails into your palm.

"Wait, what? You touched his face? Like, you tenderly placed a plaster on his cut? On his face??" Ada's jaw had dropped and she looked at you with a mix of confusion and, well, almost like she was impressed.

"Yes. And then, I drew away, of course."

"Well yeah, it's not like you were going to kiss him or anythi- Did you kiss him? Vi, fucking hell."

"No! No. But when I put mine down, he reached _his_ hand up to me and cupped my face, just where I had on him. Looking dead into my eyes the whole time."

"God." Ada's jaw was now firmly back in place, but her eyes were still filled with shock, not quite knowing where to start. "Well, I mean. Did you hate it? Like, he didn't do it against your will or anything did he? Because I swear to Go-"

"No. It's okay, I'm fine. I think I'm just confused. And I can't lie to you Ad, seeing him like that, talking to him, being so close to him, I... I felt something."

"Wow, ok then. So, are you going to talk to him about it? Because I feel like that's the kind of thing you can't just leave out there."

"That's another problem. I was so shocked, and a little scared of my own feelings, to be honest, that I ran. I just got out of there as quickly as I could, and now I'm sure he thinks that I hate him, like he assaulted me or something, and that I'm going to get him kicked out of Hogwarts."

"Oof, yeah, not the smoothest of moves, Vi."

"I know, but what could I do? I panicked. It's not every day you realise you have feelings for you Potions master who is 17 years older than you!"

"Okay, okay. Well, you'll have to sort it later. How about we go to Hogsmeade and try to figure this out over a butterbeer?" 

You smiled at your friend and nodded. "Thanks, Ad, you're a good gal to have as a friend."

* * *

Hogsmeade was always busy, especially on a Saturday, but someone must've been looking out for you, because the village was mercifully quiet today. A few students milled about, mainly from younger years, excited by the opportunity to leave the castle on their own, but the novelty wears off quickly and most final years went further out if they fancied an adventure. 

You took Ada's arm into your own and strolled around the thatched buildings, taking in their quiet beauty. There was an old lady on the corner of the street selling flowers, she looked cold, the snow and wind would be taking their toll on her aged skin. You unfurled your scarf from your neck and nipped across to her, placing the woollen offering into her hands with a smile. You had loads anyway, years of Christmas presents and failed attempts at knitting.

She looked at you carefully, as if it might be a trick. You tried to encourage her, taking the fabric from her grasp and wrapping it lightly around her neck, feeling her shiver at the unexpected warmth. She grabbed your hand and squeezed it, saying nothing. You nodded your head in acknowledgment and then ran back to where Ada was watching you with a knowing look.

"You're a real gem, you know that?" She said, pulling you in for a side hug.

"She needs it more than me." You said. "Come on, let's get a drink."

* * *

Snape looked at the picturesque scene in front of him, trying to regain some sense of calm after the previous night. But to no avail. He felt the worry creep in, like the icy wind pricking his skin. It was a beautiful day, snowy but sunny, the air fresh with moisture, and Hogsmeade was perfectly peaceful that Saturday, thank heavens. He sat on a bench at the end of the street, surveying everyone around him; the old woman selling her flowers, the young students excited to leave the castle, the other professors, headed for their weekend drink. He would join them soon, but for a few moments, he was content to just people-watch, letting the quiet air settle around him. 

Then, her. Again.

She couldn't see him, he was too far around the corner, but his back stiffened slightly nonetheless.

He watched her smile, _that smile_ , before taking off her scarf. _It's freezing,_ he thought to himself, _what on earth is she doing? She'll catch her death._ He surprised himself with how protective he could be, before he realised what she was doing. 

_Of course_. He smiled to himself, watching her comfort the old woman, tucking the ends of the scarf into her ragged coat to keep out the snow. Of course, he didn't deserve that. Look at her, she would give away everything she owned, if she thought it might help. How could someone so inexplicably _good_ want to be anywhere near him, the prince of darkness himself?

He waited until she had turned into The Hog's Head before he got up and walked towards the old woman. He pointed to the violets that she was selling and asked how much it would be for a single flower. 

"Three sickles, sir." She croaked.

"Just the one then please."

She delicately placed a single flower into his palm and he gave her a galleon before walking away.

"Your change, sir! Your change!" The woman shouted to him, but he turned back to her and waved a hand.

"Keep it, please." She needed it more than he did.

He turned the corner fully, and headed into the pub, praying that he'd be able to keep his eyes on his own table for more than five minutes.

* * *

"Shit. Incoming... Incoming!!"

"Ada, what are you on abou- shit!" You turned your head and saw the last person you wanted to see, Snape.

His black hair looked beautiful against his pale face, the cold weather putting plumes of blush on the apples of his cheeks and turning his lips a dark maroon that was more kissable than you wanted to admit. He was wearing his heavy overcoat, and a long black scarf, which he pulled from his neck as he sat down. The sight of his neck made your stomach flip over, and you quickly pulled your head down, hoping he wouldn't notice you.

"Uhh, are you ok Vi?" Said Ada, as you realised you'd been staring at him, and your mouth had subconsciously opened a little.

"Um, yeah. Sorry, let's just hope he doesn't see us."

"Wow, you really are smitten, aren't you? I haven't seen a look like that outside of my parents' wedding photograph. I mean, it's very sweet, but you'll have to give me a second to adjust to the thought of you and our professor canoodling, eh?" She winked, clearly trying to make you more comfortable. Bless her and her sarkiness.

You shouldn't have been surprised, the staff always came here on a Saturday, for a drink and a break from the castle. You hadn't remembered until you sat down and saw McGonagall sipping a beer right across from you. You'd given her a friendly smile, but prayed that Snape wouldn't be joining them, and you were almost confident, but of course, it wouldn't be that easy.

You finished your pint, enjoying the warm buzz that ran through your chest and head.

"I'm going to get another drink, want one? You got the last round so I'm paying."

"Sure thing, cheers Vi."

You stood up, a little wobbly - no breakfast and drinking a pint in under five minutes would have that effect - and walked over to the main bar, hoping to pass the dreaded staff table without interruption. Sadly, no.

"Ah! Miss Newman!" McGonagall smiled.

"Hello, professor! Everyone." You tried, putting on your best smile and purposefully looking to the right-hand side of the table, where there was a notable staff absence. 

"I thought about what you said to me the other day, Newman, about hoping to speak to a professional quidditch player? Well, I believe that Professor Snape may actually be better to talk to about that! He taught Gwenog Jones, the former captain of the Hollyhead Harpies! She was in Slytherin, I'm sure he'd be able to help you with contacting her. What do you think, Severus?"

Your smile faltered for just a second when she mentioned his name, but you managed to plaster it back on before turning to the man whose bedroom you had fled last night, fingers itching and stomach in knots. He looked back at you and you saw something new on his face, could it be... fear? You had seen him angry before, irritated, sarcastic, moody, but never scared. _Is he scared of me?_ _Oh god, no wonder. I need to talk to him alone, explain._

"Yes, Professor McGonagall, I'll make sure to contact Miss Newman tomorrow so I can assist her. Miss Jones was an excellent student, and obviously a fine quidditch player." He spoke in that low voice, but it was tinged with nervousness. You almost laughed at the idea of him being nervous.

"Ahh, see Severus, you are so agreeable today. How kind you can be." Smirked McGonagall, sneaking a look at you that you had no choice but to return. "Although I dare say you need to be more kind to yourself, look at your cheek, that will scar if you leave it! Why haven't you healed it?"

Snape's hand clenched into a fist, not threatening, but panicked. You felt your throat go dry. It was then that you noticed the small flower in Snape's fingers. 

A violet.

"I have to go, sorry professors, I promised Ada another drink!" You managed to blurt out.

"Of course, you young people, enjoy your afternoon Violet. And give my regards to Miss Watson." Replied McGonagall. 

"Thank you professor, goodbye."

"Oh, before you go, Miss Newman - what time suits you tomorrow Severus? You may as well tell the girl whilst you have her here."

Snape begrudgingly looked up from his drink and threw you a glance, "Tomorrow evening, 6pm? You may meet me in the potions classroom."

 _Evening? Alone with Snape?_ You let out a small breath, before replying, "Perfect, thank you sir."

* * *

The rest of the afternoon went fairly smoothly. You and Ada had gotten tipsy enough that you relaxed a little about the man sat less than five feet away, and spent the time gossiping about Ada's date with Alex, which had apparently ended in some rather athletic 'canoodling', as she called it.

You headed back to the castle just before dinner, saving some time to change and spruce before the meal. As you entered your dorm, you could see something on your bed.

A long black scarf, folded neatly, with a single violet placed carefully on top of it. 

Your breath hitched in your throat, and you felt your heartbeat skip slightly as you realised who it was from. There was a small note attached to the flower:

_To replace yours, and for being kind._


	4. Girl, interrupted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Violet nearly get caught... ooh the tension... ;) Glad to see people are liking this, it means so much to me, drop a comment, everyone's welcome <3

You'd spent all of Sunday fretting about what to wear. You'd gone with a black skirt that was probably shorter than it should be for a student-teacher meeting, but it was edged with green and gold stitching, and you thought he'd like that. On top, a shirt, not too formal, but dressier than an average weekend look. It was dark green to match the edging of the skirt, and you left the top two buttons open, your usual. Your long hair hung loosely past your shoulders and your makeup was simple - no cat-eye today, just glowy skin and a soft smoky eye. You'd crushed up the violet that was left on your bed and mixed it with jojoba oil and ethanol to turn it into perfume (Snape wasn't the only one good at potions), which you dabbed onto your neck, wrists, and behind your thighs. Your mother had once said that you should wear perfume where you wanted to be kissed.

You took a deep breath. The gift he had left for you meant that he can't have been that afraid, he must have some idea that you liked him. Or at least, that you didn't _hate_ him. But you were still anxious. It wasn't exactly an everyday meeting; with a professor that made your heart beat double-time and that looked at you like you might break if he touched you. Ada was already at dinner, on strict instructions to keep quiet about everything. You couldn't eat, the crunching in your stomach warned that any food you ingested definitely wouldn't stay down.

17.56 pm

You took one last glance at yourself in the mirror and headed out, placing the long black scarf you had discovered on your bed around your neck, revelling in how much it reminded you of him. The smell, the soft fabric, the colour. You headed down the stairs and took the quick route to the potions classroom, not wanting to be late for him. The nights were still cold, and you were thankful for the warmth of the scarf, wrapping it closer around you, pushing it underneath your overcoat so that it was barely visible. After several interactions with ghosts, one particularly frustrating conversation with Peeves, and navigating a staircase that seemed determined to keep you away from potions, you got there. You knocked on the door.

Unlike last time, there was a response.

"Enter." Snape's throaty voice came through the door.

You slowly pushed the door open, trying to breathe regularly. He was sat at his desk across the room from you, he had placed a chair on the opposite side which you supposed was for you. He stood up as you approached, a gentlemanly action that reminded you of how traditional he was. It made you smile. This time, he smiled back. Soft and hesitant, but it was definitely there; his eyes crinkled in a way you hadn't seen before and it reassured you. He moved around his desk and leaned against the side facing outwards, so you were forced to stand in front of him, rather than sitting down. You could feel his eyes quickly scan across you but as soon as you looked at him he turned his gaze to his hands, which were knotted in his lap, thumbs caressing each other nervously. 

"Hello." You said softly, attempting to sound as kind as possible.

His eyes flicked up to your face, "Hello." he replied.

"I just wanted to say, about the other night, I'm s-"

"No, please don't. I'm sorry. I have no idea what came over me, I can understand if you never want to interact with me again. It was wholly inappropriate, and I can only thank you for not telling McGonagall or Dumbledore about it, even though that's what I deserve for treating you so badly."

You were a little stunned, clearly he had been harder on himself than you'd realised. "Um-"

"You are... lovely. And beautiful. And you were very kind to me that evening, but still, that is no reason for me to take advantage, or to put you in a situation like that. God knows I'm sure you were horrified at someone like me touching you. I'm so very sorry."

Your heart dropped when he said that. _Don't you know_ _?_ you thought. _Don't you know that someone like you is exactly what I want?_ It occurred to you that you hadn't said anything and a silence had hung in the air for several seconds, Snape looking ashamed and defeated.

"Stop. Please." You said.

He looked up again, this time with a look of bewilderment. 

"I ran away, not because I was upset, but because I was scared-"

"Exactly, I'm so sorry..."

"No, shush, just listen to me!" You were a little surprised that you had raised your voice to him, but you had to keep going now. "I was scared... because, when you touched me, I felt something. Not hate, not anger, not fear. I like you. I really do. I think you're kind and intelligent, and you deserve more time than anyone ever gives you." 

Snape looked at you, and for the first time, he looked young. His eyes were wide and glistening, and his lips were slightly downturned, almost into a pout, with a look of utter disbelief settling on them. You took off your coat, feeling hot from the room and the emotion, and laid it on a nearby table before walking towards your professor and placing your small hand into his. He grasped it softly and brought it up to his face, turning your wrist so your palm faced the ceiling and kissed it gently, right where your veins turned blue under your skin. He drew back and looked at you again, as if to check that this was okay, not believing that it was. When you nodded, he brought your hand to his lips again and laughed lightly.

"What?" You asked, a smile forming.

"Violet. You really took that to heart didn't you?" He chuckled, breathing in deeply.

You laughed faintly, remembering the scent you had placed on your wrists earlier that day. "Yeah. It wasn't too hard to turn it into perfume."

Snape raised an eyebrow, "And they say I'm good at potions."

You smiled at him, happy to see him relax in your presence. God, he was beautiful when he smiled. People always said he looked pale and sallow, but his smile lit up his entire face, breathing life into his features, making them work together.

It was then that he noticed the scarf hanging easily around your neck and shoulders.

"You... you're wearing my scarf." He said.

"It smells like you." You replied tenderly.

He looked like he could have cried, but instead, he kissed you. Tugging at the scarf to pull you in closer, his lips pushed onto yours, softly at first, checking again that it was okay. But you reciprocated immediately, wanting to lose yourself in his touch, the feeling of being so close to him. This permission seemed to drive him wild, moving his hands into your hair, twisting a few locks around his fingers and pulling you even tighter, like, now he had you, he never wanted to let you go. You let his tongue line your lower lip before opening your mouth wider, eager to taste him as much as you could. It was intoxicating. You had kissed boys before, of course, and having a long-term boyfriend before, sex wasn't exactly new, but this felt different. It was more than just physicality.

You pulled back for just a second, immediately missing his touch, but were rewarded by the look on his face. He looked like a teenager, lips red and plumped, his eyes were low and hazy. "I can't believe I ran away from that." You joked.

"I can't believe you want me to do that," Snape replied.

"Professor-"

"I think 'Severus' is probably better from now on." He said, looking a little sheepish.

"Severus," you took time to let the name roll off your tongue. It felt a little odd hearing yourself say it, but a little perfect too. "How did you know I had lost my scarf?" You asked.

"I saw you, before you went into The Hog's Head. You gave that old lady yours because she was cold."

"Oh," you said, not sure what to reply. It was a little embarrassing to know that he had seen you out in Hogsmeade, completely unaware.

"No, no, please, don't be embarrassed. It was beautiful. You're so... _good_. I wish my soul was a little more like yours." He replied.

"Oh, I think you're kinder than you give yourself credit for."

You had barely finished the sentence before he was kissing you again. Small, soft pecks, from your lips to your chin, to your cheeks, eyes, forehead, everywhere... before moving to your neck. You let out a slight moan when his mouth pressed against your skin, and you could swear he was smirking, but all you could think about was how perfect the warmth of his lips was...

Suddenly, the door smacked open.

"Violet! Oh Jesus, Vi!"

Ada crashed into the room, breathing heavily, cheeks flushed red. She looked a little terrified when she saw you standing pressed against your professor's chest, leaning your head back as he kissed you, but she managed to continue.

"Vi! Professor... phew... Professor McGonagall is coming!!"

You pushed Snape away from you and tried to wipe your face and hair, attempting to rescue any form of dignity. "Thank you so much, come in, come in. Are you ok?"

Snape looked at you, a horrified look on his face.

"It's okay, Severus. She knows."

"Aaaand I won't tell anyone, don't worry." Ada chimed in, still looking a little flustered.

He nodded at her, a silent acknowledgment of trust, and adjusted himself before walking behind his desk and sitting down, opening his books to make it look like he was busy with some form of work.

"What's McGonagall doing coming here?" You asked.

"I'm not sure, I just overheard her in the Great Hall saying that she needed to ask Professor Snape something about potions, and then she left. So I thought I should try and get here first, in case you were doing, well, what you were doing." Her voice faltered on the last few words but to her credit, she maintained a neutral face the entire time.

"God, well thank you again Ad, you're a lifesaver."

It was exactly at that moment that your head of house walked in, her black hair atop her head, though without her usual pointy witch's hat. She looked around the room, seeming a little surprised to see Ada here.

"Miss Watson, what are you doing here? Hello Severus, Miss Newman." 

Ada looked at you and then down to your scarf, and stuttered, "Oh, I just came to bring Violet her scarf, she left it in the dining hall earlier."

"Oh well, what a good friend... Goodness, that looks identical to yours Severus!" 

Snape's back stiffened, your stomach dropped, and Ada's smile evaporated. You all shot each other tiny looks, trying to figure out what to say.

Finally, you came up with something, "Oh, it's my father's, professor. He's a muggle and black is his favourite colour, he thought I should have it for school."

McGonagall smiled and you all released your breath. The lie had worked, and you were all safe.

"Well, I just need to borrow your professor, girls. My apologies if I'm interrupting."

Snape finally spoke, "No trouble professor, I had finished with Violet anyway. I will give her the number of Miss Jones as soon as she responds to my owl with confirmation, her and Miss Watson may leave and enjoy their evening." 

He shot you a soft look when McGonagall was looking away, and nodded. You understood. He would call on you, when he could. For now, you grabbed Ada's arm and your coat, and walked out of the potions classroom, your heart full, but racing. You looked at your best friend and burst into laughter as you walked back to the dorms...

"Bloody hell, Vi. You're going to have to get sneakier than this."


	5. Do you want to get a drink?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada gets dumped, the girls get drunk, Sev has to come to the rescue. A bit of funny fluff to keep us all cheerful right now. Also, we're working under the assumption that these girls both have mobile phones, even if the older magical folk in the wizarding world don't (Sorry, no Severus texts!) Hope you like! <3

"Violet!! Vi! Come here... please!"

You were sat in the Gryffindor common room, flicking through _Quidditch Through the Ages_ when you heard Ada's voice echo from the dorms. Thinking it was just another hair emergency or homework meltdown, you took your time up the stairs, lazily plodding across the hall into your room. When you entered, you saw Ada sat on her bed in tears and her phone was lying on the ground with a crack in the glass that definitely wasn't there this morning. 

"Ad! What happened?"

"Alex broke up with me!" She managed to spit out, amongst choked sobbing.

"Shit. Why?"

"I don't know! They said they didn't love me anymore, and I have no idea why!" Her face was twisted into a grimace and you ran over to hug her, giving her wet face a kiss before trying to brush away the tears with your sleeve. "They didn't even ring me, Vi! It was just a text!"

"Bastard," you spat. "That explains the cracked glass then."

Ada sniffled, and reached down for the phone. "I don't even want to look at."

"Well then, we don't have to." You took the sorry item out of her hands and walked over to your bed, stuffing it under your pillow. "Out of sight, out of mind. Now, do you want to get a drink?"

Ada's lip wobbled, but she persevered and a small smile broke through, "Thanks Vi, god, yes please."

* * *

There wasn't exactly a 'party' culture at Hogwarts, but the over-18s were allowed to drink after the lower years had been dismissed, and your father had sent you a large bottle of gin, flavoured with Parma Violets, of course, alongside your new broom. Ada was nursing a bottle of red wine, cradling it like a child, and you had grabbed some ice cream from the pantry that was hidden behind a secret door in the common room. Dumbledore often snuck in when he thought the students were asleep, and stocked up on chocolate for Dementor kisses, ice cream for post-infirmary patients, and sherbert lemons for, well, every occasion. 

It was about half ten in the evening, and you had made good progress on the gin, with about a third of the bottle now ingested into your system, and you were feeling a little hazy. Not too bad, but you and Ada had begun giggling at everything you saw. 

"Ahahaha," Ada held up her hand and pointed, as if she were about to say something important, "look, look, look. If you had to have the face.. of a goblin, or, or, the body of a troll, which would you have?" She finished, eyes wide and glistening.

"Pshhh, hahah," You laughed, "goblin face. Final answer." 

Ada bent over, chuckling to herself. Unfortunately, this led to the glass of wine in her hand tipping over too, sending a half-glass of red straight onto the pristine carpet of the common room. 

"Ooops!" She laughed, leaning backwards, her eyes shut, "We're gonna be in troubbbleeeee."

You raised your hand, "I, I, have the solution!" You said resolutely, standing up and immediately tumbling over the shoes you had removed about three drinks in. "Magic, Ad, we can do magic remember?"

"Yes! We are magic.. things, witchy.. people!"

You took out your wand and pointed it at the puddle of red that was rapidly staining the fabric beneath. "Um, sc- scourgi.. something. Wait I know it, shhh. Scrouge? No, scourgif-? Nope, it's completely gone."

"You, are.. a brilliant magic, Violet." Ada slurred, "But, Mc, McGonagall is going to kill us."

"I have it, it's fine. Severus.. has a potion for this, we can sneak.. into his classroom, I know where it is."

"Ew _Severus_ , I'm Violet and I want to shag Snaaapeee," Ada sang sarcastically, "I'm into dark and mysterious, sexy sex older man ahahaha.."

"Shut up Ada," but you were laughing, it was fun to have someone joke about it.

Suddenly, possessed by some kind of alcohol-induced fervour, Ada stood up and smoothed out her pyjamas - you had both given up on proper clothing as soon as the ice cream was open. She grabbed you by the arm and dragged you out into the hallway, both barefoot, but not worrying about the cold, the drink having taken care of that problem.

"sHHH, ok, ok, let's go." She said in a stage whisper.

You could feel the paintings stare at you in horror as you walked past, a few of the older ones vocalised their complaints, " _Really, two young women out and about in their underclothes, awful!_ " But you just giggled and tried not to fall down the stairs as you made your way to the potions classroom, knocking each other and at least two ancient statues along the way. You were nearly there, when your foot caught on a bit of uneven ground and you tumbled to the ground, and being drunk, your body was limp and so your head hit the floor. You sat up and groaned.

"Ughh, Adaaaaa."

Ada was also sat on the ground, bent double laughing at you, clutching at her chest.

"Ahahahaha, oh my god! Ok, lemme see. Ok, you're fine, nothing.. major, but you're so gonna have a bruise tomorrow Vi." She chuckled.

You laughed, not feeling any pain, and grabbed her hand, squeezing it as you tried not to make too much noise, both now flat-out, slumped against the wall.

......."Violet??"

And there he was. Severus Snape. He stood, towering above you, still in his black teaching outfit, with a look of surprise and horror plastered on his face.

"Sevvy!!!!" You giggled. You stretched your arms out like a child asking to be picked up. Snape raised an eyebrow but bent down and picked you up from the ground, holding you tight to him as you tried to regain control of your legs.

"What in god's name are you doin- whoa whoa whoa..." Your legs had decided not to co-operate and your head was rapidly approaching the stone wall. Snape's hand shot out and cradled the back of your skull, protecting it from any harm, and he tightened his hold around your waist so that you couldn't fall. "Have you two been drinking by any chance?" He asked, a look of concern but also mild entertainment flashing across his face.

"Sev, Sev." You started, trying your best to ignore how good he smelled, and the way his large hands protecting you from danger made you feel. "Yes. But you see, it was for restorative purposes! Ada got dumped."

Snape tried not to chuckle at your manner, and the amateur dramatics of young relationships. "I see. Well, Miss Watson, I am sorry to hear that. They must have very poor taste, whoever they are."

"Why thank you pro... professor," Ada managed to stutter, "Violet has been taking care of me. But there was wine involved, and now we need to fix it."

Severus looked at you, "What is she on about?"

"We spilled wine, and then our magic didn't work. But I know you have a thingy Severus. A clean-y thingy."

"Mm." He smirked, "And I suppose that explains why you're out here wandering around in pyjamas, rather th- Violet!!"

Snape's words stopped abruptly as you started to kiss him, not deeply, but small, butterfly kisses, all over his face.

"Mm, what?" *kiss* "I thought you" *kiss* "liked it when" *kiss* "I did this?" *kiss*

Snape was trying to keep you off him, holding you down with all his strength. "Violet! Vi, you're drunk. Nothing is going to happen when you're drunk." He laughed as you went in to kiss him again, forcing him to dodge out of the way.

Ada was still sat on the ground chuckling away, she raised a fist to the air, pumping it up. "Woo! Go Violet, get some!" She trailed off, giggling at the last word.

"Adaaaaa, how dare you speak in such a way?" You asked in a mock horror tone, but grabbed Snape all the tighter, enjoying the feel of your head against his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist before sliding your hands down slowly.

He felt your touch and grabbed your wrists, putting them in front of you as though in handcuffs. "Violet Newman! I will restrain you if necessary!"

You lowered your eyes and then looked up at him through your lashes, "Is that a promise, professor?" You said in the most sultry voice you could manage at this level of inebriation, turning your head to give Ada a look as she laughed with you.

"For god's sake. Right, girls, you're coming with me. Not only do we have to clean up your mess, but you two are going to have awful hangovers tomorrow, so I may as well grab a cure for that while I'm here."

Severus grabbed you by the hand, and then ordered Ada to stand up, telling you to hold on to her yourself, forming a chain. There was part of you that, even whilst drunk, was pleased that he would only touch you. 

You both followed him down the hall, still laughing at nothing, and tried to keep up without falling over. When you reached the potions classroom, he let go and you both sat down on stools, leaning into one another and whispering nonsense as he went to work creating a potion that would hopefully ease some of your regrets the next morning.

Suddenly, the door swung open and Professor McGonagall marched in, her wand held above her head casting Lumos across the room. When she caught sight of Snape, she relaxed slightly and lowered her wand.

"Severus, thank goodness. I heard some noise, I thought someone might've been stealing from your supplies, but now I see it's just you-" She turned her head towards yourself and Ada, "Girls? What on earth are you doing here?"

"It's okay, Minerva. Miss Newman here isn't feeling well, her and Miss Watson were walking to the infirmary when I saw them in the hallway, luckily Miss Newman's condition can be easily solved with a potion, so I thought it would be easier to brew one. Then we can all go back to bed... can't we?" He shot a look at you and Ada, clearly looking for the correct response.

"Yes professor," replied Ada, mustering up all her effort to sound convincingly sober, "Violet's not quite herself right now."

You managed to peel your head away from the desk to look up at the older woman, you nodded your head and mumbled, "Yes, pro...fessor. Not so good."

"Oh dear, yes dear you sound terrible, I'll leave you to it, Severus." She said, and turned to exit.

"Ah yes...Sev, ahaha. I love Sev." You opened your mouth, and a look of terror appeared on Severus' face as his hands froze above the cauldron he was working on.

"Excuse me, what did you say Miss Newman?" McGonagall asked, looking at you with a furrowed brow.

"Seb!" Ada nearly shouted at the woman, "She loves Seb. Her father got a new dog last week. Sebastian. He's lovely." _Thank god for Ada_ , you thought. Although, she was clearly still as drunk as you, because she couldn't help herself, "Gorgeous he is, long shiny, black fur. He's a little grumpy, but Violet says he has a good heart, professor." She smirked.

You were too out of it to shoot her a dirty look, but Snape managed it for you, curling his fingers into fists.

"Very well, that's very nice for you dear. I hope you feel better soon, Miss Newman. Goodnight."

And then she was gone. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Ada turned to you, propping your head up with her hand.

"Nice one, you bloody idiot. Let's just go about telling everyone your secret love for Severus Snape shall we?" She asked, with a low voice, though it was tinged with amusement.

Snape didn't look up from his potion, focusing on the ingredients before him, methodically preparing and then adding them. His demeanour had changed, you could tell from the stiffness of his back, but you weren't exactly in a state to question it, so you let him get on. You and Ada were mainly occupied with not falling off your stools. 

Finally, he came back over to you with two cups in his hand, filled with deep green water that looked like it could be from a river. You both turned your noses up at it.

"Drink it." He ordered. "Now."

"Sev, if I do, can I have a kiss, _please?_ " You winked messily.

"Violet-"

Ada cut in, "It's ok professor, I'll look away!" she professed, dramatically turning away from you both.

"No, Violet. Look, just drink this you two, for god's sake."

"Fine," you sulked, but you drank the liquid down as fast as you could. It was cool against your throat, and you could feel the effects almost immediately, your head cleared and your limbs regained control of themselves again. "Thank you" you breathed out, placing your hand atop Snape's, stroking his fingers fondly.

He smiled back at you softly, then chuckled, "You were in quite a state you two, what even happened?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest, but it involved gin." You replied.

"And red wine." Added Ada, "Oh shit! We have to clean the wine!"

"No matter," said Snape, walking over to a cupboard on the far left of the room. "Here, take this, pour six drops onto the wine and it should remove it completely."

You took the bottle from him and handed it to Ada. "Go ahead," you said, "I'll catch you up."

Ada looked from you to Snape, "Why- ohh, yeah, Okay, thank you professor. I'll see you in a sec, Vi." And she left the room quietly, leaving you alone with the potions master.

"I am so sorry." You started.

He cut in, "It's fine. We've all been there. And I'd be lying if I said it wasn't entertaining to watch you try and get on me whilst drunk."

You clasped a hand over your mouth, "Oh god! I'm so sorry! That's so embarrassing."

"On the contrary, it was rather... stimulating." He said, punctuating the last word with a growl.

"Oh? You like me when I'm all weak and vulnerable?"

"I like you when you're begging for it." Snape replied, a glint in his eye.

You left a beat of silence, just to keep him on his toes, before answering softly, "Please."

You had barely finished the word before he lifted you up onto the desk and opened your legs so he was stood between them, his waist pressed against your thighs. It made your skin tingle. He leaned down and kissed you, deeply this time, properly, with warmth and passion, his hands in your hair, drawing you closer to him. When he drew away, he smiled at you, he seemed relieved more than anything.

"Are you okay?" You asked.

"I am now that you're okay. You could've really been hurt Violet."

It made your heart beat harder, hearing him worry about you. "Thank you Severus. I'd be lost without you tonight."

"I imagine you would still be on that floor without me tonight." He answered, a smirk spreading across his features.

"Christ, I'm so ridiculous. I can't believe you saw me like that."

"Well, it was a sight to behold. Anyway, you better join your friend, and get some sleep. It's late enough already." He kissed your forehead, where the bruise that was forming had vanished, thanks to his talented fingers, and picked you up again, this time dropping you down to the ground in the direction of the door.

"You're right. Goodnight Sev." You looked back at him and gave him one last smile.

"Goodnight Violet."

* * *

By the time you got back to the common room, Ada had already sorted the wine issue, and was nowhere to be seen, so you headed up to the dorms, ready for a good night's sleep.

When you walked in, she was still awake. She would probably still have a terrible night, her and Alex had been together for years, so she had a lot of pain to come. But hopefully, it would heal with time and care.

"Hey." She said quietly.

"Hi. What a mad night."

"Yeah, this is _not_ how I thought today would end." Ada chuckled.

"True." You replied. Ada patted her bed, signalling you to join her in it. You often slept alongside one another if you had nightmares or a bad day, and it couldn't really get much worse for Ada, so you climbed in next to her, giving her hand a squeeze to show your silent support.

After a few moments of silence, Ada spoke again.

"So... are we going to talk about the fact you said you loved him?"

..................................Shit.


	6. It's interesting...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snape POV - sorry this has taken a while, hope you enjoy! Back to our girl in the next chapter! It's going to get a little angsty, kids, but I promise it'll be worth it! <3

It's interesting how time can change a person's idea of love.

For Snape, love had been passion, and fire, flashing so hot it would burn and ache. Love had been the motivator for his life. Love was protection, selfless choices, and eventually, isolation.

But the years had softened him; he could look at love with a cynical eye, one which witnessed the joy it brought, but also the pain that it could cause if left unchecked. He would never forget Lily Potter, she was the person who taught him how to love in a certain way. The way that caretakers, family, and even friends couldn't. She didn't complete him, because he wasn't a half, but rather, she had given him _permission_ to feel emotions that, until he met her, were completely out of reach. Her loss broke him. For years, a black veil was drawn across his life, his soul crumbled every day that he woke up knowing she was gone. 

But he realised that it would be a deeper-cut tragedy if he lost those abilities she had bestowed upon him. He sometimes thought about what she would say if she saw him, sullen and grouchy, feared by students and ignored by peers, he knew she would be disappointed in him. So, at some point, he couldn't accurately say when, Snape made the choice to feel love again. Not that he actively sought out someone to love, but instead, tried to keep his heart open, to friendship and to kindness. Minerva had helped. She looked beyond his dark exterior, seeking out opportunities to bond with him and to show him that being open was stronger than closing yourself off from the world, and infinitely braver. She was the best friend he would ever have.

So love became soft. It became gentle, the small acts of courtesy and altruism that reminded a person that they were loved, that someone else cared for them. It no longer burned, but instead soothed. 

But now his world was thrown into chaos. His heart had never beat so loudly, or with such conviction. Yet the object of his affections was someone who, despite her endless good qualities, was someone he felt _guilty_ for loving. The age difference was one thing that troubled him, but he knew that these issues were never black and white, and that age was often overlooked when a healthy relationship was the result. But, his superiority was troubling. She was a final year, but nonetheless, still a student, towards whom he had a responsibility of care. Was he abusing that power by allowing himself to indulge in her obvious desires?

...

Yet, she had said she loved him.

* * *

The moment the words escaped her lips, he felt his back tense. It had been a long time since anyone had said those words to him.

Snape tried to concentrate on the potion brewing beneath his fingertips, carefully cutting and crushing each ingredient before placing it in the small cauldron before him. _She's drunk, Severus_ , _don't think anything of it_.

He listened as Ada berated her best friend for being so stupid in front of his fellow professor, and found himself considering whether or not it _mattered_ if she had meant it. The way she reacted when he had found the girls in the hall told him everything he needed to know; her eyes filled with glee, hands outstretched for him to take - he would be an idiot if he thought she didn't love him, at least in some small way.

He allowed himself a small smile before walking over to the girls and placing the cups before them. After a short struggle getting them to consume the sickly sweet substance, he had given Ada the potion they have come for in the first place and found himself alone with Violet again.

She was endearingly sheepish after sobering up, thinking that he found her drunkenness ugly, when in fact, it had been incredibly humanising. Although, bloody stupid. He tried to soothe her worries, and he soon found that they were assuaged when she had begged 'Please', and he couldn't stop himself from kissing her.

It was passionate, but not aggressive, Snape was still concerned about her, and this wasn't the time for satisfying his personal desires, but to care, and to love, as he had been taught all those years ago. He let Violet go, knowing that he wouldn't be able to control himself and that that wasn't fair.

* * *

As soon as she had left, Snape sat back against his desk and sighed.

 _What am I getting myself into?_ He thought, shaking his head slowly.

He thought it would be for the best to distance himself for a while. To let her figure out her own feelings, rather than impressing his own upon her, though they flowed through him like wildfire, consuming his thoughts constantly. He packed away his ingredients and left the classroom. As he rounded the corner to his personal quarters, he couldn't help but feel disappointed that he was alone. It was an interesting feeling. He had been alone for so long that it had become as natural as his eye colour, or the way he slept at night, but suddenly, he could feel his acute _aloneness,_ and it hurt. 

_This is going to be hell_ , he thought. Entering the room, and closing the door behind him, shutting out the world, and from now on, her.


	7. Diving too deep

The morning came too quickly. You weren't hungover exactly, thanks to Severus' handiwork, but you were still exhausted. Stretching your arms you glanced over at Ada, she was still asleep, though her face was contorted slightly as if she were having a bad dream. You felt guilty. She had witnessed your relationship with Severus, just after having her own heart broken. Not that you understood what your relationship with Severus was yet, it was so confusing. He obviously cared about you, but you could feel the tension in his body when you touched him, and he was clearly struggling with his own feelings. 

Anyway, you didn't have time to think about it. You'd already slept in and missed breakfast, and your classes started in half an hour. After waking Ada up with a friendly kick to the leg, you showered and changed, did the minimum of self-grooming and sped out of the dorms, books piled high in your arms.

 _At least I have a class with him today_ , you thought whilst walking to Divination. _Even if I can't do anything there, it's still a comfort to be in the same room._

The hours passed slowly, as did Ada, who was clearly bearing the effects of the wine and the late night worse than you.

"God Violet, what is wrong with us?" She groaned, trying not to let her head fall into the teacups that were placed in front of them.

"Aha, I know. I'm so tired, we should've pretended to be sick." You replied.

"Yeah, as if any of our tutors would believe that." She laughed. "Especially a certain Potions master..."

Ada raised an eyebrow at you when she mentioned his name. When you got back to the room last night, she had brought up the 'L' word and you'd nearly had a meltdown, having almost no memory of using it. You had told her that it was the alcohol, that you meant nothing by it. But she wasn't convinced. And, to be honest, neither were you. It seemed ridiculous though, to have such strong feelings for a man that, until a few weeks ago, you had only seen as your grouchy but intelligent professor, who appeared almost asexual to everyone who met him. But you couldn't deny the way your fingers tingled around him, or the warmth that coated your heart when he was close to you.

"I know, Ad. I know." You sighed, "I don't know whether to even bring it up, I'm sure he didn't catch it, and if he did, I was completely hammered, I'm sure he won't take anything from it."

"Well, it's time to see if you're right."

And just like that, Divination was over and you were forced to accept the consequences of your drunken rambling. 

* * *

The day's lesson was about determining and collecting various ingredients. Understanding the minute differences between a plant that could kill you and one that could save your life. It was an important, if slightly underwhelming, part of Potions, and most of your classmates had lost the battle with boredom and satisfied themselves with nodding occasionally and trying not to let Snape catch them yawning.

You, on the other hand, were entranced. Watching him walk around the classroom, you noticed things about Snape that you hadn't before. The minute wrist movements that punctuated the end of his sentences, and the way his top lip curved into a smirk when he talked about his own experience in the field. It was charming. And you couldn't keep your eyes off him...

"Violet!" Ada jammed her elbow into your side.

You jolted up, and turned to look at her. She was looking over her glasses at you expectantly, with her bag in hand.

"Class is over, Vi."

"...Sorry, completely in my own world." You replied sheepishly. You turned to look for your professor, and found him sat at his desk, looking at the previous class's homework intently. Was he avoiding looking at you?

"Violet! Are you coming?" Ada huffed.

"Sorry. Uh no, just um, I'll catch you at lunch. I have a free period now, I'm just going to..."

"I know. Okay, see you then. If you need me, I'll be in the greenhouses."

You watched her go, thankful for such an understanding friend. Despite her wisecracks and the big grin, you could tell how much pain she was in, and you weren't making it any easier by having an illicit affair, well, almost-affair, with your teacher. You turned back to him, waiting for him to say something. After a few beats of expectant silence, he looked back at you.

"Is there something I can help you with Miss Newman?" He asked, his voice cold and impenetrable. 

It took you aback. Was he thinking about what you had said? Had you somehow ruined this relationship before it had begun?

"Oh, um no, I just, well, I wanted to say thank you, for last night." You managed to stutter out the vague excuse, still trying to figure out if he was upset or just being careful.

"Well, frankly I should be punishing you for your behaviour, and Miss Watson too, however... I will overlook it, and merely encourage you not to have any repeat performances." 

You stood and looked at him, a small tear forming in your eye. Why was he acting as if you were any other student, as if he didn't know you?

"Oh..um sorry, I promise I-"

"I don't think we need to discuss it further Miss Newman, if you do not have any questions pertaining to potions then I don't believe there is any reason for you to be here." He finished his sentence with his eyes firmly planted on the desk in front of him, his black hair drawn over his face, so you couldn't make out an expression.

The tear broke through your lashes and travelled down your cheek. You wiped it away angrily, scrubbing it with your sleeve, before gathering your books. It was so frustrating, not being able to hide any of your emotions. Not like him. He could hide anything, and he was, you knew he was. Why would he suddenly switch? You tried to quieten your sobs as you packed away, but to no avail.

 _I hope this is hurting him,_ you thought. _Hearing how he's made me feel_. 

That thought hurt even more, as you could never wish pain on another person, especially not someone you cared for. But you couldn't help a few bitter sobs coming through as you walked to the door. You gave him one last chance to say something, and when a few moments of silence had passed uninterrupted, you left and threw the door shut, not caring about the noise - you knew he couldn't punish you for it...

You ran in the direction of the greenhouses.

* * *

(Snape POV)

As soon as Violet had left, Snape sighed. His hands were curled into fists; the sound of her crying cut deep into his heart. He knew how badly it must've hurt her, hearing him treat her like nothing more than a student, rather than someone he, well, loved. 

But it would hurt more if he let his own feelings run wild, and she had to continue, knowing that he loved her but that she could do nothing about it. It was better to convince her that he was an evil old bastard, who didn't care about anyone. Then she could move on, and be happy, with someone her age, a normal relationship that she could shout about from the rooftops if she wanted to. Rather than wasting her time on him, whom no one would approve of her loving, or even allow her to love for several months to come.

He wiped away the tears that he had shed on hearing her own. Thankfully she hadn't seen them, his hair keeping his true emotions hidden from view. He sat back in his chair and tried to breathe slowly, and think rationally. He was doing the right thing.

But why did the right thing hurt so much? And for Christ's sake, _why_ did he have to feel so alone again? The feeling enveloped him, wrapping itself around his soul until he couldn't feel anything else but solitude. It was depressingly familiar, but this time, even more painful, knowing that he was _choosing_ it this time.

There was something to be said for battlefields, or fighting dragons. But not much compares to the courage it takes to deny yourself the one thing that you want most in the world.

 _Happiness_.


	8. I knew you'd miss me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies in advance for the angst! Also, sorry this took so long, been a little crazy what with covid, so thanks for being patient, hope it's worth the wait! There's a fair amount of dual perspective as people say they've been enjoying Snape's POV :)

"Ada! Ada!" You shout as you run into the greenhouses.

Your throat ached and your nose stung, the warning signs of tears about to burst through your waterline. Ada looked up from the plants that she was tending and her eyes widened with concern, rushing over to you and holding you in a tight hug.

"What? Vi, what's happened?" She asked in a soft, low tone.

You try and speak through the sobs, your breath catching on every word.

"He.. he just ignored me Ada! He treated me like he didn't care about me, as if he hadn't shared those moments with me! I could've been anyone Ad, and his face didn't even flicker, I couldn't read him, he was so cold, it was awful." 

"Oh Vi, god I'm sorry." Your friend sat you down on a stool next to her workbench and placed a hand on yours, squeezing tightly. "What a bastard." She said, her face tightening into a low frown.

"I just don't understand," you reply through a quiet gasp, "it's like a switch just flipped, and now I mean nothing to him."

"Arsehole." 

You chuckled faintly at Ada's anger. She was always your protector. If you were sick, she would care for you. If you were sad, she would cheer you up. If someone dared to hurt you, she would... well, they generally regretted it. 

"You can't say anything Ad. I know you want to, but it'll get all of us in trouble, and even he doesn't deserve that. I just wish I knew why he's being like this." 

Ada's frown deepened, but her eyes were still soft as she ran them over you. "Okay. I promise I won't cause a problem. But just saying, if he does anything like this again, I don't think he could punish me for an 'accidental' explosion in Potions class." 

She smirked on the last word; you didn't even want to know what she was planning in her head.

"Come on, let's go and get some food, it's nearly one."

* * *

You entered the Great Hall with some trepidation, knowing who would be there. Your eyes were still a little red from crying and your lips were puffy and full from biting them in nervousness. The smell of food flooded your nose, giving you some comfort; there was always warmth to be found at Hogwarts, especially when there was a meal on the table and hundreds of students eager to indulge themselves.

Ada laced her fingers through yours and kept a tight hold as you walked towards the front end of the Gryffindor table where the final years usually sat, showing their dominance over the rabble of the lower years. As you approached, you scanned the teacher's table that spanned the end-to-end width of the room. McGonagall, check. Flitwick, check. No Dumbledore present today. Sprout, check. And... you sighed as you saw him, black cloak buttoned tightly in a way that made your breath catch despite yourself. He lifted his head and caught sight of you, though it looked like he was as pleased to see you as you were him. Ada shot him daggers across the table, which seemed to have the desired effect as he looked down again, pushing a few measly bits of food around his plate like a surly child. Although your heart ached just to see him, you couldn't help but notice just how _sad_ he seemed. Not cold or impenetrable this time, but genuinely _sad_. 

You tried to ignore it, telling yourself that if he didn't care about you, why should you care about him? Sitting down with Ada on your right, acting as a wall between you and the professor, you began to eat. It made you feel a little better, a cup of hot chocolate warming your skin and reminding you of home - your father's hot chocolate, though muggle, was legendary.

"Are you okay?" Ada checked in, after devouring an enormous piece of chicken.

"I think so. It's just strange, the last time we saw each other in here, we were giving each other quiet smiles, secretly showing that we cared, and now we're ignoring each other as if our lives depended on it." You sighed as you remembered the curve of his mouth when he would look at you and smirk.

"I know. You're doing really well Vi." She replied, patting your arm firmly. "And so am I," she smiled, "I've only thought about hitting him twice so far."

You burst into laughter. Ada grinned, shovelling in another piece of chicken before giggling with you. You pull her in for a hug, still laughing.

"Thank you."

* * *

As soon as she walked into the Great Hall, Snape knew he was in trouble. Watching her leave his room crying had been bad enough, but now he had to watch her deal with her heartbreak, just like the students who got hurt by stupid young boys, or cruel teenage girls, but this time, it was his fault. He was no better than them now. 

He kept his head down, not wanting to look her in the eye. But after a few minutes had passed, Flitwick asked him something and he had to look up.

Mistake. He got exactly what he expected. Ada was holding her hand, shooting him a look of pure hatred. Of course, she would have run to her friend immediately and explained what an evil, mean old man he had been, and now they both hated him. He felt his breath catch at the thought of Violet hating him but tried to keep a straight face as he could feel her eyes on him now, trying to decipher his expressions.

Eventually, they sat down and he could relax again slightly, though his appetite had entirely left him. He sat at the table, using his fork to push various bits of scraps around his plate before giving up and accepting that his lunch today would have to be pumpkin juice.

Then he heard it. Violet's laughter. It rang through the hall like bells, bright and pure joy resonating in the air. His heart skipped and he found himself smiling at the sound, it was perfect, unadulterated happiness, and more to the point, it was hers. He was torn between being glad that she was okay, and being utterly devasted by the fact that he wouldn't be the cause of her laughter ever again, that she would laugh _in spite_ of him, rather than _because_ of him. It cut deep, and he knew he couldn't stay without risking the other staff seeing him break down so he made his excuses and slipped out of the back door whilst Violet was engaged in hugging her friend.

* * *

The rest of the day passed without much drama, you sat through your classes in a haze, not being able to concentrate or contribute beyond the occasional nod to show your teachers that you weren't fully out of it. 

You made your way back to the dorms after your final class, walking alone in quiet contemplation, ignoring the hustle and bustle of students rushing to dinner. When you finally arrived in your room, you sat on your bed and leaned back slowly, falling onto the soft duvet, and shut your eyes for a few moments of calm. You opened them again when you felt a tap on your leg and saw Ada stood above you with some of your quidditch teammates, who were all smiling and dressed for a match.

"What's this? We don't have practice today do we?" You ask, worried that you were in so much of a daze that you had completely forgotten your favourite activity.

"No no, but the girls have noticed you're a little down today, and so we're going to play some friendly games if you're up for it?" Ada replied. She leaned down to you and whispered quietly, "Don't worry, they don't know why - I made some excuse about a muggle pet dying."

You sighed with relief and then smiled at your team. "Yeah, that sounds great, thanks, everyone. If you're okay with skipping dinner?" 

The team chuckled and agreed, then left the room with the promise of seeing you on the pitch when you were ready. You would be okay with friends like this.

You made your way to the pitch after changing and grabbing your broom, already excited about the prospect of being in the air. There was something about it that made everything, all your problems, seem smaller. The only thing that mattered when you were playing was the game, you could forget about everything else.

"Come on Violet, I'm raring to go!" Shouted Emma, one of your beaters, and a good friend.

"Haha, I'm coming, I'm coming!" You replied whilst jumping onto your broom, soaring into the air. It was a cold day, but fresh, and the wind against your skin refreshed your energy and you shot forward, heading towards the hoops that were under your protection for the duration of the match.

\---

The game was fun, everyone playing well and without competition, shouting and laughing with one another as you flew around the pitch. You were on pretty good form despite the morning's events and your team was winning thanks to a few spectacular saves that made you proud to be a Keeper. However, the Ravenclaw girls that had joined you for the friendly weren't going down without a fight and you could see Sam, their best Chaser, heading towards you at speed, a Quaffle in hand. You held your ground, narrowing your eyes at her and waited for her to shoot. She went for the central hoop and you shot towards it, eyes fixed firmly on the ball with one arm outstretched to catch it. You just managed to keep it in your arms when suddenly Emma shouted:

"Violet!!! Look out!!"

A Bludger flew into you from behind, knocking the air from your lungs. The force of the blow threw you into the metal hoop that you had just defended and you heard a crack as the whole front of your body connected with it. Your eyes were flooded with spots of black and you felt your grip loosen from your broom, and then you fell, unable to move or even think as your teammates screamed, trying without success to break your fall.

The last thing you saw after hitting the ground was Ada, standing over you, tears in her eyes, and a shadow of black...

* * *

Snape had decided to skip dinner that evening. It wasn't worth the risk of seeing her again, and it wasn't like any of the other professors would be particularly surprised. His solitary nature wasn't exactly a secret, so he knew that he could get away with it without arousing suspicion. A walk, he decided, would help. 

He put on his black overcoat, though he was deprived of a scarf, and felt a wave of sadness as he was reminded of the person he had given it to. Eventually, he managed to leave his room, lock the door behind him and make his way across the open grounds of the school. It was nice to be away from everyone else for a while, to have a moment of calm, and he found himself appreciating the little things about Hogwarts that made it so special; the birds sang to each other softly, the smoke from Hagrid's ramshackle hut spread across the grounds and he breathed it in, enjoying the warm, woody scent that it provided. The whomping willow stood tall and proud, if a little angry, and the quidditch pitch on the hill looked majestic, overlooking the lake. He decided to walk towards it, knowing that the water generally made him feel better, clear and ever-moving.

As he approached the lake, Snape could hear the shouts of laughter and empty threats that implied a quidditch game was happening. He looked up and saw the flashes of red and gold, Gryffindor. Which, inevitably, meant Violet. He couldn't help but walk over to the bottom of the stands, out of sight from everyone but with a clear view of the game, and watch her play. She really was fantastic, quick and agile without being flighty, she thought out every move and never let her opponents out of her sight. She looked relaxed, which pleased him, it was good to see that her favourite sport was still able to make her happy. The match, though obviously friendly, was pretty tight, and you could see the determination of the Ravenclaw chasers to even the score, as one of the girls caught a Quaffle and headed towards Violet. _Come on, you've got this Vi,_ he thought as he watched her focus in on the girl and wait patiently for her next move.

She caught the Quaffle that flew towards her and the shouts of support from the Gryffindor team echoed across the pitch. Snape allowed himself a small celebration of his own, silently beaming with pride at her talent. But then he saw the Bludger.

A Gryffindor beater screamed, trying to warn her, but it was too late, and he watched at Violet was thrown against the cold metal of the goal and felt sick as he saw her tumble to ground, her face covered in blood.

He ran forward as fast as he could, his heart beating heavy in his chest, throwing off his coat to put under her.

He reached where she had fallen and pushed through the rest of the girls, shouting for them to go and tell Madame Pomfrey that she would need to prep for a serious case. The crowd dispersed and he was left alone with Ada, who was crying over her friend. He looked at Violet's face, which was beaten and bloody and could feel the panic rising in his chest, he wanted to scream, but instead tried to give Ada a look of sympathy, to convince her that it would be okay, though he was more trying to convince himself. 

Violet murmured through swollen lips...

"Severus..." She managed, before her breath ran out.

Her eyes closed shut. 

Snape was in tears, not caring if anyone saw. He grabbed Violet, placing his coat around her and then lifted her up into his arms. Her head rested in the crook of his neck and he could smell the bitter scent of her blood as he started towards the castle, Ada following close behind. He clutched her body tight, cursing himself for not being faster, and tried to listen for her breathing which, thankfully, appeared to be regular. 

"It's going to be okay, I promise." He whispered to her, his lips pressed against her forehead. Her limp body felt small and weak in his hands and he had never felt so protective of anyone, he was determined to keep her safe.

"I promise, you will be fine." He repeated. "I love you too."


	9. Regaining consciousness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very very late chapter, so thank you to anyone who comes back to this after waiting for so long. It's a little bit of filler plot, I promise the next one will have more to it <3

_Ugh, why does my head hurt?_

Your eyes blink open slowly, not wanting to take in the light of the infirmary. Everything hurts actually, not just your head, the bruises running down your neck and chest are yellowing, aching to the touch. You slowly lift your fingers to your face, shaking slightly, and lightly press against your skin. The cuts and scraped skin are rough under your fingertips and a shot of pain runs across your forehead as you move upwards, feeling around gently. Ouch, that's the one, you think, as you reach the main source of pain. You can feel the depth of the gash and decide to leave it alone, not wanting to put yourself through any more.

The smell of the infirmary is comforting though; you've been here many times before. Disinfectant, medical supplies, herbs and lotions all remind you of your younger years, when you first rode a broomstick when your limbs were simply collateral damage in the fight to become the best player you could. The light hurt slightly, but after being out for so long, it was nice to take in the surroundings. There was a huge bouquet of sunflowers sitting on your right, lighting up the room. Ada. You smile at your friend's thoughtfulness and let your eyes wander around the bed. On the left, a small bunch of violets, sitting in what looked like a potions flask. It took you a minute to figure out who they were from, especially since your last memory of him was less than pleasant. _W_ _hy would he bother to leave these? He told me he didn't care._

Your thoughts were interrupted as Madam Pomfrey came forward, looking a little worried but smiling brightly, a bottle of medicine in hand. "Hello dear, just woken up?" You manage a small nod and smile back. "Ah poor thing, you took a right beating against that Quidditch goal. Rogue bludger apparently, nasty. Thank goodness Severus was there, I don't think you'd be sat here now if he wasn't." A thousand questions ran through your mind. You couldn't remember how you got back to the school halls but you definitely didn't expect a rescue from the man who had rejected you mere hours earlier. 

"...Professor Snape helped me?" You asked. 

"Why yes my dear, he carried you in his arms from the pitch to here. It must've been a nasty incident only I've never seen him so shaken, he looked awful, but ran out before I could force any help on him."

 _In his arms... He held me? He saved me?_ All of your emotions were muddled now, and you couldn't help but cry, the salty tears streaming down your face.

"Oh Miss Newman, my dear, come now, don't cry. Please, let me give you something for the pain." Madam Pomfrey offered the bottle in her hand and you took a sip. It eased the pulsating ache in your head but didn't do much for the strain that was spreading across your chest. "There we go, you just sit quietly for a few minutes. I'll send for Miss Watson, she's been worried sick for the past two nights, and I imagine a friendly face is exactly what you need right now." You thanked the old medi-witch as she left, and sat back against the iron bed, hoping Ada could help you to understand what had happened.

* * *

The day's lessons had passed largely without event, the students could tell that Snape was in a bad mood and didn't want to risk his wrath with stupid mistakes or irritating interruptions. The professor was glad of this, thinking that he probably couldn't handle discipline at the minute.

The last class of the day, was seventh-year Gryffindors and Slytherins, with the notable absence of one Gryffindor. His Gryffindor. 

He had spent the past two days unable to think about anything else, sitting in his dungeon chambers alone, hating himself and worrying about her. She had looked close to death when he left her in the infirmary, too shaken to stay, and not wanting Madam Pomfrey to ask questions about his tears. The ache in his chest told him that he was well and truly lost to this girl, no matter what his head told him, she was perfect. A piece of sunshine in his dark, damp world. And she was now lying comatose in the infirmary ward. He felt his fist clench as he thought about losing her. _Not again,_ he thought. _Please_.

A knock on the door of his classroom brought him back to reality. 

"Enter." He growled.

The door creaked open and Minerva's head appeared around the corner. "Sorry to interrupt, Professor, but Miss Newman is awake in the infirmary and we thought that she might like the company of Miss Watson, if you may spare her." 

Snape's heart began to beat double-time as all of his thoughts came crashing down, flooding his head with relief, and fear. He managed to limit his reaction to a sharp intake of breath, before turning to Ada where she was sat, eyes wide. She looked back at him knowingly, he flashed into her mind for a moment, and heard her say, _'Come with me, she needs you... and I heard what you said. You have to tell her.'_

 _"_...Yes, you may take Miss Watson, I do believe we may survive without her." He stuttered out, attempting his usual grumpy demeanour, but he saw Minerva's eyes flash with concern. 

Ada rushed out as fast as she could, almost tripping over her own scarf. She shot one last look back at the professor, before disappearing through the door.

 _I have to leave,_ he thought _. I have to see her._

Slowly, as his students returned to their textbooks, he walked over his desk, where a bottle of Swamp Fog sat, a product of his last class. He clutched it between his fingers, _It's fine, I'll blame one of the bloody Gryffindors..._

A slight slip of his wrist as he walked a circuit of the classroom, and...

"Oh my gods! Sir, I can't see anything!"

"Ugh, it smells disgusting!"

"What even happened? I bet this was a Slytherin!"

"Shut your mouth, it was obviously one of your lots!"

Coughing and shouting ran across the classroom as the foul, but harmless, fog spread, engulfing the desks and the students that sat at them.

"Right!" Snape shouted, silencing the rest of the voices in the room. "I have no idea how you fools have managed this but it's going to take all night to clear, so just, get out now! There's no way we can continue, this class is cancelled! Get out, the lot of you, go to your common rooms!"

The students scrambled, grabbing coats, bags, and each other before rushing out the door complaining of the smell, but quietly celebrating that their hour-long class had been cut down to ten minutes. Snape smiled softly to himself, laughing at their naive idiocy, before easily clearing the fog with a flick of his wand and leaving the classroom, making sure to lock and ward the door afterwards. He didn't need anyone to come sniffing around.

He ran to the infirmary as fast as he could, slowly to a fast walk whenever he passed anyone. He didn't need anyone questioning his reputation - even if he was nearly in tears at the thought of a girl he loved.

* * *

After talking to Ada, you felt... well, not calmer, in fact, your heart was now beating hard and deep at the thought of the man you had given your heart to...saving you. Knowing that he really did care, despite what he had said to you. And if Ada's report was anything to go by, had spent the last two days miserable as sin and terrified by the thought of losing you. You smirked a little at the thought of the dark professor being so bloody soft, but it also warmed your heart.

"Look, I told him to come here," Ada was interrupted as a tall, black-clad figure crashed through the door, looking charmingly bewildered. He remained where he stood, clearly not wanting to draw attention to his presence, but looked over with a pained expression on his pale face. "And apparently he listened. Look, I'll get Madam Pomfrey out of the way and then you need to let him speak to you, explain himself before slapping him for being such a sorry excuse for a man." Ada's eyes glittered with humour as she finished her sentence.

You smiled back, thankful for her once again, and gave her a light hug before she ran off after the medi-witch, who was making her way towards Snape, clearly about to question his presence in the hospital.

You watched Ada drag her away by the hand, probably under the guise of some hexed fifth-year or some first-years who had fallen prey to joke sweets.

The door swung shut and you were alone, with him.

He looked nervous as he walked over to you, which was entertaining, and very, very attractive. 


	10. Idiotic tendencies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, a short bit of fluff and stuff - what I want to know (and please tell me in the comments!) is, do you guys want me to carry on this fic indefinitely, and put in some smut? Or would you be happy with it ending pretty softly, with no/one paragraph of smut? Hope you enjoy, as always <3

The silence in the infirmary was palpable as you watched your professor move slowly towards you. His movements were deliberate but slow, as if he were pacing himself, cautious of what was ahead. His dark eyes glistened with worry and you could see his long, calloused fingers twitching slightly, tugging at the black buttons of his sleeve. You couldn't help but smile at the sight of him - it was too late to bother with pretend anger or indifference.

"Hello," he ventured, his voice little more than a soft whisper. 

"Hi." You replied, watching as he sat in the metal chair placed by your side. His knees brushed against your hip as he got settled, moving his long dark cloak out of the way and crossing one leg over the other.

"I... um, well..." He stuttered, looking down at his lap.

He looked petrified, and it suddenly occurred to you that he was scared of _you_. For what reason, you had no idea, but either way, the man was practically trembling. You stretched out a hand to him, placing your small, bruised fingertips lightly on top of his and he looked up suddenly, eyes wide and staring straight into yours. 

"Violet...I..." He started again.

"Professor, honestly, I've been asleep for two days, I really thought you might've been able to come up with a better speech than this." You say with a smile, watching in amusement at his bewildered expression.

"Uhh..." He was still at a loss for words.

"Really Severus, do you tolerate this sort of open-mouthed idiocy in your classroom? Do you want to get on and tell me that you love me or do I need to send for Madame Pomfrey to give you some sort of elixir to loosen your tongue?" You smirked through your words and your eyes crinkled at the sight of Snape finally understanding that you weren't mad, far from it.

He collapsed down from the chair, sinking to his knees next to you and took your hand properly, holding it tightly and kissing it softly.

"I'm ridiculous, aren't I?" He managed to sputter out.

You laughed loudly, filling the empty air with vibrations. "Yes, Severus, you really are."

You pulled your hand away from his lips and ran it through his hair. He really did look terrible, his eyes were sunken and sallow, like he hadn't slept since the accident - which he hadn't. His robes were pristine as ever, but you could see his hands were rough and dry, and his back looked like it hurt him, you wondered to yourself how badly he had tortured himself over all of this.

"You look awful Sev." You sighed, giving him a kind look.

"I know," he replied, "after I brought you here, I really thought that, well, that you might not wake up and it hasn't done wonders for my sleep." He looked a little ashamed at himself, so you took your fingers and ran them along his cheek, just as you had done on that first night, when everything changed. He pushed his face into your palm and closed his eyes before placing a final quick kiss on your knuckles and standing up.

"When are you allowed to leave?" He asked quietly.

"Well, Madame Pomfrey says that as long as I take healing potions with me, and don't practise quidditch for another few weeks, I can be discharged today." You replied, smiling up at him.

"Well then, Miss Newman, I wish to have dinner with you. Tonight. Don't worry about Minerva, I'll sort it. As long as Miss Watson has no objections, of course, I rather think her blessing is the most important." He chuckled at the mention of Ada, and you laughed along with him.

"Oh don't worry, apparently Alex has decided to make up with her and they're spending tonight tightly wrapped around one another. I swear, if she gets hurt again..."

"Ah, there's my Gryffindor." Snape smiled, watching your fists tighten at the thought of someone harming your best friend. "Well then, try to get some rest, and I'll see you tonight." 

He looked around the room, scanning for any students or staff, and after finding it mercifully empty bent down and placed a soft kiss on your lips, taking care not to graze any of your cuts or bruises. You felt your stomach flip at the contact and pressed your mouth against him harder, willing him to kiss you more deeply, but he pulled away, a smirk on his face.

"Down tiger, I don't want to hurt you. I promise you'll be rewarded if you take care of yourself."

"Yes sir." You reply cheekily, enjoying Snape's clear physical reaction to that word. He breathed in sharply and tapped you softly on the nose before turning his back and walking out of the infirmary, cloak billowing out behind him.


	11. Graduation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I've been gone for a while, sorry about that. I thought that this was going to be the final chapter but I've changed my mind - this is the penultimate, the next one will be unapologetic smut that will hopefully fulfill all your romantic needs. This one is to fill in the space between the last chapter and the next one, and to give a little context to our characters' relationship - hope you enjoy. The final chapter comes out this week!

It had been four months since your accident, four months since the man you loved had kneeled by your sickbed and told you that he felt the same. It had been four months of perfect dates, in which you and Severus had talked about everything under the sun, laughed loudly together, shared favourite music, and food, and books. You had seen sides of him that he never showed to anyone else, except maybe Poppy Pomfrey or Professor McGonagall, and you had fallen deeper and deeper for him because of it.

There had been a couple of squabbles, though on the important topics; feminism, rights of magical creatures, LGBTQ+ in the wizarding world… his opinions had refreshed you - not that he could be considered _old_ , but he did have nearly twenty years on you and that often came with a certain amount of questionable opinions. Luckily, his thoughts, though he generally kept them private, showed how intelligent, kind and selfless a person he was and it delighted you. The four months had proven your relationship to be more than a schoolgirl crush or an infatuated male fantasy, there was a deep respect between the two of you, one that outweighed the physical attraction (although _that_ definitely hadn’t decreased).

The only person who knew of the relationship was Ada, who had inadvertently caused it to happen, and who was completely supportive “as long as he knows what’ll happen to his balls if he hurts you.” Severus suspected that Minerva knew but said nothing, and his monthly physical exams with Poppy had told her that he was being cared for by _someone_ , but couldn’t quite figure out who. He would tell them, in time, but until you were a graduate, it was decided that the relationship would remain private.

“God knows what people are going to think of me even when you do leave, Vi, it’s going to be hard enough convincing people that you’re with me of your own free will.” Severus had said one evening, after dinner and a few glasses of wine.

You had rolled your eyes, understanding the judgement that would come from others, but trying to make a point that _you_ knew why you were with him and that’s all that mattered.

“I mean,” he continued, “what about your parents? They’re surely not going to be happy about you bringing home an old bloody man rather than some handsome, young quidditch player.”

“Severus, my dad is 16 years older than my mum. They met in a dodgy pub on Prince of Wales Street and ended up having sex before they knew each others’ names. You are going to be a pleasant surprise, I promise.” You replied, giggling at the memory your mother had told you a few years back.

“…Wow, well as long as I’m not threatened with a kitchen knife or anything.” He smirked.

“If you bring flowers and compliment the food, you’ll be golden.”

The conversation had somewhat settled Severus’ nerves about bringing your relationship into the daylight, but he had still insisted that you wait a little while before telling people, just to make sure that no one suspected you of doing… well, what you had been doing. Another thing that he had insisted upon was sex. Or a lack thereof. He wouldn’t sleep with you until graduation, despite explaining, in pretty plain terms, that he wanted nothing more. So the past four months had been torturous; being able to touch Severus, kiss him, run your fingers through his hair, but not being able to progress to anything more serious than that.

He’d gotten caught up in the moment a few times - particularly when you’d gone to his chambers to change after a quidditch match and he’d accidentally walked in on you in a bra, underwear, and nothing else. You had felt a rush of passion as he nearly ran over to you, crushing you in his embrace, before running his hands all over your skin, kissing your face, down to your neck, then chest, moving his way lightly down to your hips. But as his fingertips danced along the line of your underwear and your breath caught in your throat, he had let out a loud sigh, stood up abruptly and walked to the other side of the room. His self-control was remarkable, and boded well for you eventual night together - at least would be able to last more than five minutes, which you weren’t entirely sure about yourself.

He had told you that, if he couldn’t keep his calm and act like a human, rather than an animal, how could he ever respect himself? And if not, how could he ever ask you to respect him either? It was a fair logic, and you understood that it was incredibly important to him so you never complained about the lack of sex and found that it was generally resolved by masturbating to thoughts of his long fingers and smooth lips and his pretty nose - yes, pretty.

And there was something delicious in the pain too. Seeing his face twist when his mind was conflicted made you shiver, knowing that this man, so beautiful and deep and clever, was brought down by…you. Plus, the teasing kept it fun - occasionally slipping a hand on his upper thighs, moaning a little deeper into this ear, it all made you chuckle darkly as you began to realise the effect you had on him.

But the time had passed, and tomorrow you would graduate.

After seven years at Hogwarts, it felt like leaving home, though you didn’t have to worry, thanks to Severus you had met Gwenog Jones and after a long dinner with wine and several servings of honeycomb ice cream (her favourite), you had secured a trainee position with the Holyhead Harpies and were happier than ever to be moving on from education.

———————————————————————————————————————————

The day, and night, were packed with activities, and although you had offered to spend the evening with Severus, he had insisted that “graduation only happens once, and you will want these memories with your friends”, so you were going to meet him after all of the festivities had finished.

Because everyone had been over-age for a while now, the drinking began in earnest at 12pm, with most of the graduates heading to Hogsmeade for pints before moving onto the heavy stuff as the afternoon wore on.

The professors joined their now-former students at the pub, as is customary in Britain, and had no problem with getting as roaring drunk as the young witches and wizards. Severus was there too, his general mood having improved since you and he began seeing each other regularly, and was even forced into a few drinking games by Professor Flitwick and Madame Pomfrey.

You exchanged a few glances across the room, and it hadn’t escaped your notice that his eyes lingered on your hips and arse, which were clad in your tight-fitting, burgundy velvet graduation dress. You had approached the staff table with Ada in order to give thanks to all of your teachers and tell them your future plans as they smiled and replied that you were all such wonderful young people, they couldn’t wait to see where life would take you. For a moment, Ada had drawn attention to herself by doing her impression of drunk Hagrid that always drew laughs, and allowed you to steal a glance at your, dare you say it, boyfriend, as he lightly touched your leg with his foot.

Beyond that, you had spent the afternoon playing games, telling stories, and enjoying the company of your fellow graduates. Severus was right. You would remember this forever, and you were grateful to him for giving you your freedom when he knew how easily it would’ve been to convince you to confine yourself to his bedroom all day. Again, his respect for you controlled his decisions and it made your heart glow a little inside.

Along with the others, you had been consuming pints and shots fairly consistently throughout the day but it was paced enough that you were only pleasantly drunk - you weren’t going to let alcohol jeopardise the night you had ahead of you.


	12. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, sex! See notes for more <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A whole bunch smut! Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this fic (and me!), this is going to be romantic AND sexy - sorry if y'all wanted like, hardcore rough sex, but this is going to be the kind of smut that makes your heart melt as well your loins stir. My name is severus-please on Tumblr so please feel free to send me a message with any fic prompts or requests, I'd love to try some new things. Thanks again!

Severus breathed in deeply as he placed his beer on the table in front of him. _I can’t believe I am enjoying this_ he thought to himself. Clearly, four months with Violet had damaged his brain, leaving him in an intoxicated haze - a haze in which he didn’t mind the company of his fellow professors and could chuckle at the antics of graduate students blowing off steam after a long seven years.

Of course, his thoughts generally drifted towards one particular ex-student. He turned his head slightly, without drawing too much attention, and allowed his eyes to run across Violet Newman’s body. A body which was currently clad in a wine-coloured velvet dress that hugged her curves in a way that made his fingers itch, and was also bent over a pool table, giving him a more-than-generous view of her arse.

Although clearly, he wasn’t the only interested party.

He tried to conceal a frown as he watched an old friend of hers, Sam Langford, drape his arm across her waist, pretending to show her how to use the pool cue that Severus knew she was more than capable with - that had been a particularly interesting date night and he was still convinced that she'd charmed the table - either way, he was displeased and felt something tighten in his throat. He knew that she could handle herself though, so remained in his seat. His frown softened as he watched her firmly remove the boy’s hand and place it on the table as a rather drunken Ada shouted “Yeah, that’s right Sammy boy! And if you try anything again, I’ll shove that pool cue up your arse!” which was rewarded with laughter and applause from the onlookers.

Severus couldn’t help but laugh at Ada’s protective antics, even when she rather obviously looked over at him and nodded, acknowledging the secret between them and promising that she would always protect his girl. He was glad that Violet had chosen to spend her time with her friends, he didn’t want to have the kind of relationship that dominated her life or his. He wanted a partnership, and he knew that denying someone their independence because of your own selfishness was a one-way ticket to resentment. Plus, from here, he could admire her beautiful figure and bask in her bright laughter, which carried across the room, and know that she had _chosen_ him, know that soon she would be with him…

* * *

The arm around your waist was… uninvited. Not that Sam was a bad guy, and it was a pretty innocent motion as far as flirting goes, but you thought it was best not to lead him on. Your waist, and pretty much everything else, had been reserved for another man for a very long time, so you politely, but with enough force that he would get the message, removed his toned arm from your body and placed it back on the pool table. Across from you, Ada shouted some form of warning, something to do with a pool cue up the arse, before turning to the teacher’s table and giving a decisive nod at Severus. _Subtle, thank you Ad. Oh well, it wouldn’t make sense to anyone except us._ You decided to let it go, especially because you could faintly hear a laugh from his direction and it made your heart beat a little faster.

The night was wearing on. _Time to go, I think._

You declared yourself the ultimate pool-queen of Gryffindor and after accepting a final, congratulatory shot, excused yourself from the evening, saying goodbyes to friends you would now only see once or twice a year rather than every day (except Ada, who you planned to live with as soon as you could). During the hugging and crying, you noted that Severus had recognised his cue and had already said farewell to his colleagues and left the pub. _Good, I really didn’t want to walk by myself_ , you thought.

Numbers, addresses, and social media handles exchanged, you grabbed your jacket and exited the pub, trying to control your breathing as the anticipation rose through your stomach up to your throat. As you turned the corner that led to Hogwarts' muddy path, you saw him. Clad in all black, as usual, with the added touches of a gleaming Slytherin pin and green silk scarf, he smiled widely at your approach. You could feel his eyes roam over your body, shivering slightly under the weight of his gaze, and before he could say anything you pressed your lips against his. He reacted instantly and you noted the heat of his body as you deepened the kiss, running your tongue lightly against his mouth.

Finally, you pulled away, missing his touch instantly.

“Mmm,” he sighed, “how did I get so lucky?”

“I have no idea.” You smirked.

“You look beautiful. That dress is… distracting.”

“Thank you, I chose it with you in mind.”

“You chose well, I’ve been staring at your arse all day, you intoxicating little chit.” He feigned annoyance.

In retaliation, you grabbed his hand and pulled it around your waist, pushing it down your back painfully slowly before resting it on your buttocks, squeezing your own flesh with his fingers beneath yours.

“…Good.”

Severus bit his lip as if he didn’t want to rise to your teasing, but eventually, his desire took over. He pressed his fingers against your curves, pulling you against him and lowering his mouth to your ear before whispering, “I have a surprise for you.”

You instantly looked back at him, curious about his meaning, and frustratingly turned on at his voice.

“Ha,” he chuckled, “I thought that might stop your teasing. Let’s apparate, no point in walking your pretty shoes through that mud.”

Before you could even answer, he snapped his fingers and you found yourself standing in his chambers.

* * *

Your eyes widened as you took in the scene around you. Snape’s dark, sometimes-depressing chambers had been completely transformed. The room was packed with small vases, filled to the brim with violets, their scent heady and overwhelming. There were gold ribbons hanging from the ceiling, with tiny stars attached to them, giving the impression of a warm night sky, and there were red candles dotted around the room which gave off a romantic low glow. The fire was burning as usual, and your skin welcomed the warmth as the light reflected off of the stars on the ceiling. The result was otherworldly. You spun around to Severus and looked at him with wide eyes.

“It’s beautiful. You did all this?”

He grinned back at you, clearly pleased with your reaction. “Yes. Well, it was quite enjoyable making the stars, and you deserve a celebration, my darling girl.”

“Thank you, I love it. -wait? You did this all by hand?”

“Um,yes. I had a little help from Fen to charm the red candles, but yes.” He offered shyly, taking your fingers between his and giving them a gentle squeeze.

You looked at him again, deeper this time, trying to convey the love and satisfaction through your eyes alone. In the end, you decided that touch would get the message across better. You walked away from him for a moment, carefully placing your jacket on the back of his chambers' door, before crooking a finger towards yourself. He approached slowly, allowing himself to drink in the outfit (and hair and shoes and makeup) that you had picked out, keeping his tastes in mind. He took off his outer cloak and began undoing the buttons on his waistcoat as you kissed him deeply. You groaned slightly as his tongue pressed against your lips, silently requesting consent. In response, you opened your mouth wider, allowing him in and letting him take control of the movement - you liked to think of yourself as a confident, powerful woman, but right now you wanted this man to take all of you, take everything that you would give him, willingly and lovingly.

The heat between your thighs increased as Severus removed his waistcoat and placed his hands against your neck, tracing his thumbs down towards your collarbones tenderly. He moaned against your mouth as you set _your_ hands to work removing his shirt, tugging hungrily at the fabric, before running your fingers against his chest, his heartbeat loud beneath your touch. He began to kiss lightly down your neck and chest, looking at you questioningly. You nodded your consent and he pulled down the shoulders of your dress, the fabric dragging against your skin until it hit your hips, just covering the top of your underwear.Severus’ eyes widened at your image, his lips parting unconsciously.

“Y… you didn’t wear a bra?” He managed to stutter, eyes transfixed on your full, low breasts.

“I told you I chose this outfit for you.” You giggled, taking the opportunity to pepper his bare chest with kisses and lick-

“Oh no, my love,” he interrupted your mouth, pushing you back against the door, “you can’t show me something that perfect and not give me time to fully appreciate it.” He smirked.

You leaned back further, pushing your chest towards him now, a look in your eyes that said ‘Go ahead, show me…” He took the bait and leaned down, taking a breast in each hand, massaging them softly, taking care never to pinch too hard or nick your skin with his rough nails. As you sighed underneath him, he lowered his head and took one nipple into his mouth, circling it with his tongue before sucking gently. The pleasure was instant. You loved the feeling of his mouth around you, and secretly, you had always loved watching a man sucking your breasts. There was power in it, pushing your fingers in their hair as they take the time to focus on your pleasure. And Severus was certainly doing that. He switched between each nipple, running the length of his tongue against both, earning him a pleasured groan as you felt your hips lift towards him.

He tugged your dress down lower and lower until it was on the ground, and you kicked it away from you. This time, his eyes, though hungry with desire, were sparkling with amusement. You had forgotten the dark green lace underwear you had chosen for the occasion.

“Woman, only you could make me laugh during this kind of activity.” He chuckled.

You laughed lightly, “I thought it was quite fitting. Despite my Gryffindor exterior, some things belong to Slytherin…”

At that comment, Severus’ eyes darkened and he arched an eyebrow. “Oh, they _belong_ to me now?”

Your eyes met as you reached out a hand and placed it on his shoulder, pressing him to the ground. Once he was on his knees, you slowly pulled down the green knickers and flicked them away with your foot, watching his expression melt into lust. You lifted a leg over his shoulder, resting your thigh just beside his face. Then, lowered your voice and whispered,

“I am yours, to worship.”

These simple words set Severus’ heart, and cock, racing and you could see the ache that he was feeling in his groin. He grabbed your arse in his hands, bringing your sex, now throbbing and slick with passion, towards his mouth. Your breath hitched in your throat as his tongue made contact with your skin and he licked the length of you. He took his time tasting all of you, kissing every inch of your warm wetness before focusing his attention on your clitoris. Your eyes rolled back and you almost hit your head against the door as he took you in his mouth and sucked gently, alternating light kisses with rougher ones, using his fingers to access every single pleasure nerve. It was ecstatic. He brought up a finger to his lips and wet it thoroughly before running it between your folds whilst continuing to suck on your clit. You whimpered above him as he gently pushed a finger against your entrance, ensuring that you were comfortable and ready. You curled your fingers into his long black hair and tugged, trying to say _Yes, yes, please god yes!_ You could feel him smile against your skin and took the message as received when he pushed inside you, hooking his finger forward and pressing lightly as you ground your hips towards him, trying to get more and more contact. You fell into the pleasure, almost drowning in it, letting him take control of the speed and the pressure as you felt your orgasm approaching.

Severus looked up at you as you moaned, your hips bucking slightly. He whispered, “Come for me, Violet. I want to taste you.”

He continued at his pace, repetition building the intensity of your feelings.

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m going to come all over Severus Snape’s tongue_.

This thought alone was enough to push you over the edge and you tightened your fist in his hair and arched your back, riding out your orgasm against his fingers. Your chest rose and fell as you breathed heavily, trying to bring yourself back to the world after being engulfed in desire for so long. Severus removed his hands from you and placed your leg back on the ground before standing to his full height, his eyes fixed on yours. He lifted his hand to his mouth and proceeded to lick his fingers, tasting your pleasure. It drove you absolutely fucking wild. You grabbed at his belt, nearly ripping it from him and proceeded to remove his trousers, desperate to have him inside you.

He smiled at your arousal, secure now in the knowledge that you wanted him, all of him. The smile twisted with pleasure though, as you began to rub his cock through his underwear (black, as expected). He was already hard, and as you pulled down the thin fabric, you could see that he was glistening with pre-cum.

You hadn’t expected the size.

You knew he was far from small, thanks to a few occasions where you had strategically brushed against him or rested in his lap, but this was… intimidating. He must have registered your slight hesitation as he looked down in concern, taking your hand in his.

“Are you okay?” He asked softly, eyes wide with concern.

“Um, yes,” you replied. “It’s just… you’re very big.”

Severus blushed slightly at this, trying to conceal his pride. “Is this still okay? You can stop anytime you want, Violet.”

You almost laughed in his face. It might take a little longer, but there was no way you weren’t going to have sex with the man you loved after 16 long weeks of waiting.

“No, I mean yes, I mean, I want to carry on. Please. I have never needed someone so badly.” You replied, trying to convey your complete and utter infatuation.

He smiled, “We’ll go very slowly, I promise. And, oh actually, I do have lube - I don't want to hurt you, ever.”

“Thank you. And yeah, I think that’s probably a good idea.” You giggled at him. “You were preparing for this then, mister?”

“I have thought of little else for four months, you tease.”

You laughed as he took you in his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. You had never known sex to be so…joyous. So genuinely happy.He carried you over to the bed, letting you down gently so that your head was resting against his thick, soft pillows. He towered above you, tall and strong. He wasn’t the broadest of men, nor the most muscular, but as you admired his frame you noticed the tone of his arms and thighs which spoke to his strength and power. You felt your thighs wetten slightly as you took in his form.

Apparently, Severus was thinking the same, as he opened his mouth.

“God, you’re beautiful.” He spoke, almost a whisper.

It was your turn to blush. No one else had looked at you like this before. No one had taken the time to absorb every inch of your body, the curves, the slight fat rolls, the stretch marks and imperfections. It terrified you. But as you watched the man in front of you, his breath heavy with desire, run his eyes over all of it, your confidence grew. He grabbed some lubricant from a draw and threw it next to you on the bed, before climbing on, nudging your legs open with his and lowering his body to yours and kissing you deeply.

As he kissed you, he took some lube onto his fingers and gently dabbed it onto your aroused skin, making you shiver slightly, and then rubbing the rest into the tip of his aching cock. You could feel him stiffen, even at the contact of his own hand, and decided that you didn’t need to wait any longer. You locked your feet around his waist, just above his (surprisingly round) buttocks, and pulled him down sharply. As his cock made contact with your wet arousal, he inhaled deeply trying to contain himself.

“You’re going to have to be careful, Miss Newman, if you want me to go slowly for you.”

The use of your title turned you on even more, reminding you of your first kisses and the passion behind his eyes when he had first realised that you wanted him. You weren’t a virgin, and despite his size, you were willing to push him a little further into frustration.

“But, sir…I need you inside of me.” You whined, widening your eyes with faux innocence and biting your lower lip.

“Fuck.” He sighed.

You knew that his position as your teacher had caused him an understandable amount of conflict and confusion previously, but now that you were officially a graduate of the school and could comfortably explore the relationship, you were happy to use his not-so-secret kink against him. And it definitely worked. Severus adjusted his knees and pulled your hips towards his torso, teasing his cock against your entrance, causing you to groan in anticipation. However, he was clearly losing the battle with his own desire, a pained expression crossing his face. You decided to stop teasing.

“Severus. Please.” You said in a low voice, looking deep into his eyes so that he knew your want was genuine.

He pushed himself gently inside you after this expression of consent and you felt your entrance stretch and widen around him, trying to accommodate the size. He moaned loudly as he pressed deeper, continuously checking in to see if you were okay. After seeing you nod lightly each time, he pushed harder.

“Jesus fucking Christ Violet, you… you’re so fucking tight.”He managed to breath out in between the first and second stroke.

You smiled at his undoing, pleased that you were the one causing it, and held him closer to you, wanting to breathe in every part of him. As you both relaxed into the contact and you got used to his presence inside you, you could focus on the pure euphoric pleasure that was Severus Snape making love to you. Every time he pushed into you, your breath was taken away from your lungs and you groaned deeply, pressing your lips to his shoulder, needing to kiss some part of him. He moaned gutturally as he increased his pace and you dug your nails into his back lightly, holding on and letting him take control of the pace.

He varied his speed and his movements slightly, though always keeping a steady rhythm that meant your pleasure was building again. Whilst he moved in and out of you, he moved a hand to the side of your face and caressed you softly.You turned your head and kissed his palm before looking back into his eyes and thinking - _shit, I am so in love._

As if sensing your thoughts, he whispered, “I love you, Violet.”

“I love you too, Severus.”

You both moaned heavily as he thrust into you again and his speed increased. You thought he was going to bring himself to climax then, which would have been fine, you were more than satisfied. However, he pulled out of you and leaned back. Your face must have betrayed a feeling of confusion because he quickly asked.

“Would you go on top? I want to watch you when I come.” His voice was slightly rough, and ever so sexy, but insecurity was working its way up inside of you.

“Oh, um, I…” you hesitated.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to. Are you still alright?” He asked gently.

“No, I’m fine, more than fine, I promise. It’s just… am I not too heavy to be on top?” You looked away from him then, and turned your face to the side, feeling slightly ashamed of yourself.

His eyes narrowed in concern as he answered you. “Vi, if you aren’t comfortable doing it then that’s okay, I am _definitely_ enjoying what we’re currently doing. But if you think it’s because I will find you, in any way, less attractive then I can promise with my whole heart that I will not. You are stunning. Every inch of you. You aren’t too heavy, you won’t look any less gorgeous, or any less fuckable, than you do right now laid in front of me like a goddess.”

You felt slightly like crying at that response. “Okay, but I don’t think I’m very good at it,” you warned. “I’ve only really done it once before and it didn’t go so well.”

“Oh Vi, I’m so sorry you went through a bad experience, but don’t worry, I'm with you, we'll go as slow as we need to and we'll stop if you don't like it.”

"Okay."

Severus sat back on his heels and reached out his hands. You placed yours in his and he pulled you up so that he was looking down at you slightly. He placed a gentle but intense kiss on your lips.

“Come here, it’s easier in a chair - and I think you’ll enjoy it more too.” He stood up and led you to one of his wingback chairs, the old one that was worn down with years of use. He sat down in it and pulled you on top of him, the old chair being large enough for you to comfortably kneel either side of his legs. You felt secure resting your weight against his legs, and the memory of the raggedy fabric made you smile.

“This is where we first touched.” You smiled at Severus, taking his cheek in your hand as you did that day, rubbing his skin gently with your thumb.

“Thank god for that day,” he replied with a smirk. “I couldn’t believe it when you did that.”

“Me neither, I ran straight to Ada and her jaw nearly hit the ground when I told her.” You giggled, your eyes crinkling.

“Oh god, did she threaten to hurt me by any chance?” He asked cheekily.

“Once she realised that I was okay with it, she was fine, but there was definitely something about causing you pain.”

“Mm, well I am the luckiest man in the world then. And I’m definitely going to make the most of it.” He hummed against your shoulder as he held you in a gentle embrace.

You felt the urgency return to your thighs and your breathing quickened slightly when you noticed that Severus’ erection was still holding, throbbing against your hot skin. He held your hips lightly as you raised them up and angled yourself over his cock, but before you brought yourself down onto him, he kissed you lightly and offered an affirmation.

“I do worship you, you know.” He stated, his voice deep and breathy.

“I know.” You said as you sank down onto his hard member, taking him all at once, thanks to the previous activities.

“Fuck.” Snape managed to breathe out before his head rolled back against the chair.

Feeling comfortable that your weight was partially being held by the chair, you allowed yourself to lower your hips even further so that the head of his cock pressed against your cervix slightly. You inhaled sharply at the contact and then moaned heavily as you rocked forwards, your clit brushing gently against the thick but neat pubic hair that surrounded his manhood. Your walls clenched around him as the pleasure mounted and you found yourself able to move up and down on your knees without any worry.

Snape’s eyes caught sight of your breasts bouncing in front of him and moved his fingers away from your hips and took one in each hand, pressing harder than he had before, his need growing. As you quickened your pace, he gripped the arm of the chair, groaning and growling as he got closer and closer. You found that your clit stimulation was more than enough to keep you satisfied and your breathing hitched slightly every time you felt yourself hit his legs, knowing that every part of him was inside you. You tangled your fingers into his hair and gripped hard, knowing that he enjoyed the touch, aggressive though it was, as you rode harder and faster.

Severus looked up at you pleadingly, knowing that he was about to come, and you leaned your head forward so that you could kiss him as you sank down for a final time and came hard around him, clenching your walls so you were tight around him when you moved upwards again, still orgasming with the movement. This sent him into overdrive and he linked his arms behind you and held you steady as he pushed into you and broke. You felt him come, felt his release as he breathed into your neck, sweaty and filled with satisfaction.

For a moment, you remained in that position, holding each other quietly and letting your heartbeats slow. Wordlessly, Severus performed scourgify and cleaned you both, before summoning a blanket from the bed and placing it around you. You adjusted yourself so that you were sat in his lap, touching skin-to-skin with an easy intimacy, your legs dangling over the arm of the chair. You pressed a firm kiss to Severus’ lips, conveying all of your love and genuine happiness through the gesture.He smiled back at you.

“I should cut myself shaving more often.”


End file.
